2 comicbook creators who have run out of steam creatively decide to dabble into porn and make up a new superheroine: Squirt Girl (Cytheria), demi-god from another planet who appears to earth women if they say "I wish I could squirt" three times, to teach them how to squirt - and have sex with them and their partners, of course.

Squirt Girl has one sworn enemy though, Captain Cum (Evan Stone) who believes the male orgasm is predominant and women are not supposed to cum, so he fights Squirt Girl every step along the way. After much to and fro - mainly sex scenes in which Squirt Girl proves she's quite a long distance squirter -, Captain Cum manages to get the wherabouts of Squirt Girl out of one of her henchwomen thanks to his truth sperm (something like a truth serum, only in the form of sperm), which eventually leads to ... Squirt Girl and Captain Cum fucking.

Story-wise this is probably one of the better examples of superhero porn flicks, basically because the sex isn't just tagged onto a random thriller plot but made part of the narrative. In terms of production values though, this film is disappointing inasmuch as its action is reduced to nothing but a few bedrooms )but then again, it's a porn flick), and while Captain Cum's costume is at least funny, Squirt Girls is dead boring and a bit disappointment. On an acting level, Evan Stone, a gifted comedian, actually, does get a few laughs, and seeing Cytherea, who has obviously got the role for her superior squirting abilities, struggle through her lines is worth a chuckle at least (and not half as embarrassing as I make it sound to be). Which brings us to the sex: There's a bit for everyone here, including DP, anal, girl/girl, and of course lots of squirting (Cytherea does not do DPs and anal in this by the way, but lots of squirting). The girls are all cute and natural enough, and while you might have seen everything better elsewhere, this isn't bad at all ... just like the whole film, actually: You have seen better, but this isn't bad.

review � by Mike Haberfelner

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
is all of that.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to -
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

Out now from
Amazon!!!