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The Amazing Transplant

USA 1970
produced by
Doris Wishman (as Louis Silverman) for Mostest Productions
directed by Doris Wishman (as Louis Silverman)
starring Juan Fernández, Larry Hunter, Linda Southern, Suzzan Landau (= Alice Noland), Janet Banzet, Pat Barrett, Olive Denneccio, Sandy Eden, Uta Erickson, Bernard Marcel, Kim Pope, E.B. Priest
written by Doris Wishman (as Dawn Whitman)

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Available on DVD!

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Always make sure of DVD-compatibility!!!

Arthur (Juan Fernández) proposes to his girlfriend Mary to marry him, & everything couldn't be more perfect ... until he changes his mind & suddenly strips & murders her. Then he makes his getaway ...

When Arthur's mother learns he is suspected of the murder (he did in fact committ), she is devastated, & since she can't believe her nice & quiet boy is capable of such a thing, she calls her brother in law Bill Barlen, a cop, to investigate in the case, to which Barlen agrees since he can't believe his son-in-law is a killer either. But when he goes through Arthur's adressbook & interviews several young women he finds in it, he is confronted with a trail of promiscuity & rape. ... but he also finds the phonenumber of a surgeon, Doctor Meade, who immediately seems suspicious & under thorough questioning confesses he has performed a delicate operation on Arthur ...

You see, Arthur was a very shy boy, who apparently had a small penis, which he made responsible for his lack of success with women. Doctor Meade's assistant Felix, Arthur's close friend, on the other hand had a very large penis, & was quite a success with women, so when Felix suddenly caught a deadly virus & died, Arthur begged Doctor Meade to give him Felix' penis ... & the Doctor did in fact agree & transplanted the penis. But on a subconsciuos level it seems the penis is to Arthur more than just a decent piece of manhood ...

Meanwhile Arthur, still on the run, meets a hooker, but when she's already naked & ready to go he realizes he can't perform. So Arthur steals one of the hooker's kitchenknives & wants to go & kill doc Meade.

Fortunately though he is stopped by detective Barlen on Meade's doorstep & they sit down & talk ... & in the process find out the reason for Arthur's odd behavius - Earrings.

Felix, when he was still alive, had a predilection for earrings, was turned on by them - & this seems to have somehow affected Arthur, & indeed, all the girls he has slept with or raped, including Mary, did wear earrings ... only the hooker didn't, thus he couldn't perform ... case solved.

 

Admittedly, the film is full of wooden actors, a stupid plot, incredibly bland dialogue that often enough is about everything but the plot, the direction seems to be just totally absent & the camera seems to be aiming everywhere but on the characters - often enough they deliver their lines while not in the picture -, or concentrating on something else all of a sudden or keeping the characters firmly out of focus ...

But it would be wrong just dismiss the film as a piece of incompetence to for these reasons (even if all these points are admittedly common denominators of incompetence), instead the film (like many of Doris Wishman's sex-flicks) takes the audience onto a triplike experience full of glaring colours, unreal people in an unreal storyline, & atrocious early-1970's interior design and fashion.

Yes, all this still makes it sound like a truly bad movie (sorry), but still you might love it, you might hate it, you might love to hate it, or you might hate yourself for loving it.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!