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Big Zapper
Sex Life of a Female Private Eye / Dirty Harriet / Lady Bond / Big Zapper zahlt mit blauen Bohnen
UK 1973
produced by Lindsay Shonteff for Syn-Frank Enterprises
directed by Lindsay Shonteff
starring Linda Marlowe, Gary Hope, Sean Hewitt, Michael O'Malley, Richard Monette, Jack May, Penny Irving, Stuart Lock, Bobbi Anne, Kristopher Kum, Hock Chuan, Tony Hiew, William Ridoutt, Graham Ashley, Robert Breen, Nova Llewellyn, Sonia Camara, Jeanette Marsden, Paula Tinker, Jo Peters, Parnell McGarry, Michael Crane, Gavin Douglas, Gaylord Burr, Joseph Cheng, Al Lampert, Rod Wilmott, Keith Britto, Jim Russell, Bob Miller, Anthony Edwards, Peter Kenton, Hugh Halliday, Brian Davey, Raymond Brody, Michael Redfern, Carl Forgione, Marc Arnall, Alan Thompson, Anthony Rowlands, William Hootkins, John Salthouse, Leon Taggert
written by Hugh Brody, music by Colin Pearson
Zapper
review by Mike Haberfelner
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17 year old Pandy (Bobbi Anne) has been forced into prostitution by
crime kingpin Kono (Gary Hope), and after an unsuccessful escape attempt,
he kills her. Her kung fu-savvy brother Septimus (Stuart Lock) tries to
track down his sister, but when he enters Kono's place, he's brutally
murdered as well. So Pandy and Septimus's father Jeremiah Horn (Jack May)
hires Zapper (Linda Marlowe), the toughest private eye on the market, to
track down his children. Of course, Kono lures her into one trap after the
next and throws everything but the kitchen sink at her, including his
inept henchmen Fingers (Sean Hewitt) and Strawberry (Michael O'Malley),
the fastest gun in town (William Ridoutt), and even a trio of samurai
(Kristopher Kum, Hock Chuan, Tony Hiew), but thanks to a mixture of
martial arts and a pair of always handy magnums, she always comes out on
top and even finds enough time to please her always horny assistant Rock
Hard (Richard Monette), who's really not good for much more than sex.
Ultimately, Septimus's twin brother Randy (Stuart Lock again) wants to
exact revenge for his dead siblings on his own, but is killed shortly
after entering Kono's estate. Kono now has the great idea to lure Zapper
and old man Horn into separate traps, demanding one million Pounds for the
life of Randy from each of them, but Zapper grows wise to things and
escapes not only the trap set up for her but also saves Horn's life, then
pays a visit to Kono, taking out his entire team of goons, including a
helicopter and a guy with a machine gun, without even messing her hair,
then sees to it that Kono gets her just desserts. Now I'm the
first to admit, there's plenty wrong with Big Zapper, from the too
simplistic storyline to the below average action and martial arts, from
Gary Hope's too over-the-top villain to Richard Monette's rather
out-of-place comic relief, from its weird combination of comedy and drama
to a few too many blatant excuses for exposing some boobs. But that said, Big
Zapper is also more entertaining than it has any right to be - in a
way, it's really a comicbook or cartoon come to life, inasmuch as
something seems to happen all the time, nothing is subtle, everything is
exaggerated, and sightgags, even if they destroy the dramatic impact, are
always more than welcome. Plus, the heroine is allowed to wear the most
out of place outfits and hats to all her missions for looks alone and
never even seems to break a sweat, which is taken to hilarious heights,
and the over-sexualized comedy between her and her relief is almost
bordering the bizarre. So it's really not a good movie - but
there's a very good chance you'll be highly entertained nevertheless.
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