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Bolero

USA 1984
produced by
Bo Derek, Menahem Golan (executive), Yoram Globus (executive) for City Films, Cannon
directed by John Derek
starring Bo Derek, George Kennedy, Andrea Occhipinti, Ana Obregón, Olivia d'Abo, Greg Bensen, Ian Cochrane, Mirta Miller, Mickey Knox, Paul Stacey, James Stacey
written by John Derek, music by Peter Bernstein, musical supervision by Elmer Bernstein

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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The 1920's: After having graduated from convent school, Lida (Bo Derek) wants to see the world - and give up her virginity to the most proper candidate in the process. Her first journey leads her and her sidekicks, cauffeur Cotton (George Kennedy) and fellow virgin Catalina (Ana Obregón), to Morocco, where she looks for a real sheik (Greg Bensen) to lay her, about whom she only had the most romantic fantasies, but he turns out to be a disappointment, brought up in Oxford like a perfect Westerner. Plus, he couldn't take all the hashish he smoked in preparation for the defloration.

Second stop: Spain. This time Lida has set her mind on a bullfighter Angel (Andrea Occhipinti) - but he's a gypsy, so he has to win the trust of his gypsy girlfriend Paloma (Olivia D'Abo). What Paloma didn't tell Lida though is that Angel's already married, and in the end, Lida and her friends are stuck with Paloma. Eventually, Lida manages to meet Angel without his wife in an opium den, but by that point, both of them are both too stoned to do it. For the longest time after that, Lida tries to buy one of his horses, but he refuses to sell, until he gives it to her as a gift - which only reintroduces her wife to the proceedings. Eventually though, one day at sunrise, the two get to shag, and Lida loses her virginity. But Angel's wife isn't one to get rid of to easily ...

Then, out of nowhere, Angel is injured in the groin in the bullring. Lida proposes to him immediately afterwards, but he pushes her back because the injury might have turned him impotent for life.

Likewise out of nowhere, the sheik's men show up to kidnap Lida. She manages to escape though, rather unspectacularly. Then, to cure Angel's impotency, Lida traubs herself in bullfighting - and wouldn't you know it, it really works, after he has seen her in the bullring, they have the most passionate sex ever.

 

Basically, Bolero is little more than John Derek's tribute to his beautiful wife Bo: There's lots of Bo in this film, preferably naked, while the plot as such is as silly as it's neglectable, even regarding this is just a piece of erotica, and it even lacks something resembling a proper narrative ark, all the supporting characters are forgettable and interchangeable and seem to be written into and out of the movie at rather random points, the supporting cast isn't exactly first rate either, and John Derek's direction is heavy handed and he seems to constantly confuse erotic with plain glossy. However, the weakest link of this very weak film is its main attraction, Bo Derek, a woman who despite of all her beauty is utterly charisma-free, and her acting is so incredibly wooden it borders the ridiculous.

So it it's just naked Bo Derek you want to see, than this film is exactly right for you, if you expect even a little more though, forget it ...

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!

 

 

 

On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD