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Siamese twins Vivian (Violet Hilton) and Dorothy (Daisy Hilton) are the
stars of Hinkley's (Allen Jenkins) vaudeville show - but even they can't
keep the business from deteriorating. So Hinkley comes up with a great (?)
promotional stunt: he plans to marry one of the girls, Dorothy, to the
show's marksman André (Mario Laval), whom she has long admired - while
Vivian on the other hand has nothing but contempt for the man.
André, a turncoat if there ever was one, is thrilled by the idea -
especially since it would mean a considerable payrise ... and he doesn't
even mind that he breaks his girlfriend/assistant Renée's (Patricia
Wright) heart.
The promotional stunt proves to be a great gimmick to get the people
into the theatre, however, once the wedding is over, André finds himself
unable to consume the marriage - and under the ever-watching eye of the
media, the marriage is annulled ...
Thing is, the Siamese twins as well as André stay with the theatre,
and Dorothy is still in love with huim, even though he has broken her
heart. And the other thing is, André has less and less reservations about
showing his love for Renée, breaking Dorothy's heart more and more and
more ... until, during one of his acts, Vivian takes one of his guns and
shoots him, live on stage, just because she couldn't see her sister suffer
anymore.
Dorothy is tried, and her guilt goes without a question, but - the
judge (Norval Mitchell) asks the audience in the end - can you execute
both girls for the crime of one, or even throw both of them into prison ?
Even the judge doesn't know as he hands the decision over to a higher
court ...
Exploitation at its worst: the only selling point of this film are the
real life Siamese twins the Hilton Sisters (previously seen in Tod
Browning's Freaks), and the whole ad campaign for the movie
("What happens in their intimate moments ?", "Joined
together, how can they make love ?", "See why 21 states refused
them a marriage license !") promises a lurid and sleazy spectacle
involving the twins if there ever was one.
But all the hullabaloo aside, and the political correctness aside, is Chained
for Life a good film or does it at least live up to its promises ?
The answer is no on both accounts. Despite the sensationalism and
sleaziness of the ads, the film itself is nothing but a tiring, boring,
tedious melodrama, interrupted by a string of vaudeville acts to keep the
audience from dozing off and to stretch the running time of the film to at
least a little over an hour. The basic question of the movie - can you
execute Siamese twins for a crime that only one of them committed -, which
the film puts much emphasis on, seems to be rather unimportant and
impractical - which makes the goings-on of the film very pointless,
actually. Oh, and in case you wonder, no we don't learn how Siamese twins
make love ...
Complete waste of time.
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