Diamantino (Carloto Cotta) is a bit of a simpleton, who isn't really good at anything but soccer - but he's very good at that, so he is Portugal biggest hope to win the world championship. Interestingly he's quite as good because on the field, he always hallucinates about running through fields populated by giant fluffy puppies shrouded in pink fog - but in the championship's finale, these visions disappear all of a sudden when he's about to shoot the equalizer ... and since soccer is pretty much a religion for the Portuguese, his fall from national hero to idiot of the nation is pretty much immediate. On the same day, his father dies, and his greedy sisters (Anabela Moreira, Margarida Moreira), who actually had their hands in his dead, blame it all on Diamantino missing his big chance. Diamantino falls into a big depression and soon decides to quit the sport for good and instead adopt a refugee boy - as he has only recently learned about the refugee crisis. This brings two secret service agents, Lucia and Aisha (Cleo Tavares) onto the scene who think Diamantino is evading taxes (while it's really his sisters funnelling his money), and Aisha agrees to pose as a fugitive boy in order for them to investigate the former national hero ... but it's not long before Aisha falls in love with him instead. And when she investigates, she finds out that the sisters have tricked him into working with the gouvernment to clone an unbeatable soccer team - even if the experiment will most likely kill him and makes him grow female breasts, much to his embarrassement to be sure. And this is where things start to get very difficult ...

Oh wow, if there is a "what the fuck"-moviegenre, then this film is definitely a primary example of that - and I mean this in the best possible way! Sure, one can say the filmmakers have just thrown whatever elements they could think of into a pot and then cooked up the screenplay, so do expect to find pieces of surrealism, science fiction of the mad scientist variety, conspiracy thriller, sports drama, political satire, body horror and whatever else in this one, all cooked up in some delicious comedy sauce and peppered with plenty of pulp mainstays in this one, filmed in a very slick way with some very weird (but very effective) special effects work attached to it, and carried by a very solid ensemble cast. And the result is pretty much unlike any movie you've ever seen, but it is so in an extremely entertaining way!

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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