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Dracula vs the Ninja on the Moon
UK 2009
produced by Nik Box, Mark Biggam for Dead Good Films Like Productions
directed by Nik Box
starring Alex Carley, Thomas Wright, Isobel McArthur, Jon Croft, Dan Fulf, Neil Anderson, Yasmin Holgeth, Nabeel Masih, Phil Barret, Stephen Andrews, Marc Biggam, & the voices of Bartoz Kruk, Ricky Daniels, Nik Box, Mark Connoly
written by Nik Box, Marc Biggam, music by Hacksaw, Hospital of Death, FCG, Detox, special effects by James Lightfoot, Nik Box
Dracula
review by Mike Haberfelner
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Years before the first manned moon mission in 1969, the martini-crazy
British agent and ninja Doug (Thomas Wright) is sent to the moon to kill
Dracula (Alex Carley), who has been exiled to the moon more than 60 years
ago by Van Helsing, and has since eaten up the entire lunar population. Before
Doug can take off though, he has to take special training from ninjamaster
Chappy Santo (Dan Fulf), who out of the blue is then killed by Dracula's
agent on earth Shelly Shellerton (Yasmin holgeth), who's then killed by
Doug. But even Doug's own maid Richard (Isobel McArthur) eventually turns
out to be one of Dracula's agents, and she has to be staked by Richard's
partner (Jon Croft), who controls his lunar mission from earth. On the
moon, Doug manages to stake Dracula - but not before Dracula has bitten
and turned him ... An hommage to/parody of bad moviemaking from
the likes of Ed Wood and Godfrey Ho - and this is the film's main problem:
Obviously, the filmmakers have seen many a bad movie and understood their
failures, but at the end of the day it seems like just an excuse for not
really trying to do better themselves. In other word, Dracula vs the
Ninja on the Moon's intentional badness seems to cover up for the
filmmakers own laziness, and thus, instead of adding something to the
badness of the films of their peers, they take the easy way out and
recreate the badness (and cheapness) of the movies of old. Now sure,
this film still has at least some scenes to make bad movie enthusiasts
chuckle, but in all it's just a missed opportunity, a film that could have
resulted in something good with a little effort at least.
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