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Ice Cream Man

USA 1995
produced by
Norman Apstein (as Paul Norman) for David M. Goldstein Productions, Doublesteen Productions
directed by Norman Apstein (as Paul Norman)
starring Clint Howard, Justin Isfeld, Anndi McAfee, JoJo Adams, Mikey LeBeau, Sandahl Bergman, Andrea Evans, Steve Garvey, Olivia Hussey, Lee Majors II, Jan-Michael Vincent, David Warner, David Naughton, Doug Llewelyn, Zachary Benjamin, Karl Makinen, Tom Reilly, Edwin T.Morgan, E.E.Bell
written by Sven Davison, David Dobkin

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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It's summer vacation, & there's little to do in the suburbs for kids Racer (Justin Isfeld), Heather (Anndi McAfee) Tuna (JoJo Adams) & Smallpox (Mikey LeBeau) but by icecream from the Ice Cream Man ... but unfortunately their ice cream man Gregory (Clint Howard) is pretty much off the hook: not only does he keep mice in his icecream, he also has the bad habit of killing people every now & again, & soon a boy goes missing.

Our kids don't care too much though, until Tuna witnesses the ice cream man pushing Smallpox into his truck., but when he tries to inform the grownups about it, they show little interest, & even when Tuna eventually manages to convince the police (led by Jan-Michael Vincent & Lee Majors II)  to search Gregory's warehouse, they come up with no evidence at all (but for some reason stay clear from searching gregory's truck where he has a corpse stashed away).

Since this is an American film though, smallpox is not really dead (neither is the other boy, who has been found pretty much alive eventually), but is kept by Gregory in a cage the cops were too stupid to find, as Gregory thinks Smallpox is the only one who understands him. On the other hand though, Gregory shows little hesitation to kill grownups by the numbers, but noone seems to notice, & the cops who stake him out seem to always look the other direction when Gregory does something evil.

Soon, Tuna, Heather & Racer collect evidence of the ice cream man's evildoings on film, but somehow Racer's wannabe-cop brother Jacob (Karl Makinen) gets his hands on the photos & decides to bring down the Ice Cream Man himself ... but loses his head over it.

Of course it's up to the pesky kids to fight Gregory on their own in the end, & Smallpox, who has found a way out of the cage he was kept in, delivers the final blow when he turns a machine with giant rotating blades Gregory uses for cutting nuts & corpses against him.

Gregory's dead, but would you have guessed it (of course you would), Smallpox might become the next Ice Cream Man.

 

Very pedestrian mix of visceral horror, boy detective story & gross-out comedy - which works on none of the 3 levels: It's too restrained to really shock, it just refuses to put the kids into any real danger they can't manage (as Smallpox says towards the beginning about the Pied Piper: "The kids win in the end, they always do"), & as a comedy it's just not funny, with all the satirical elements about living in the suburbs being much overused clichés instead of social comments. It's all not helpedb y mainly one-dimensional characters & flat acting, especially Clint Howard as main psycho is just godawful.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

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Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
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