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If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?
USA 1971
produced by Estus W. Pirkle, Monnie Stanfield for The Ormond Organization
directed by Ron Ormond
starring Estus W. Pirkle, Judy Creech, Cecil Scaife, Gene McFall, Wes Saunders, La Quinta Scaife, Jim Rose, Billy Kent, Jimmy Little, Carl Haselton, Joe Scaife, Nathan Blackwell, Max Cannon, Bell Kent, Bondy Kent, Greg Pirkle, H.C. Godfrey Curtis Barbery, Glenda Gregory, Bennie Hagle, Carolyn Hudipeth, Sam Davis, Caroll Chism, Keith Miller, Linda Miller, Pat Adams, Charlene Garrison, Johnny Cowart, Woodrow Barnes, Benny Hall, P.E. Moffitt
screenplay by Ron Ormond, based on the book by Estus W.Pirkle
Ron Ormond's religious features
review by Mike Haberfelner
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Judy (Judy Creech) is a loose girl, a girl who likes to hang out with
guys, likes to dance, party, and who goes to church on only an irregular
basis, and that only to please her dead mother. This Sunday, she has
chosen to pay a visit to the local church though, and arrives just in time
to hear preacher Estus W.Pirkle's sermon about the evils of Communism. According
to preacher Pirkle, the main focus of Communism is the sadistic torture
and killing of Christians, and working its subject to death 363 days of
the year (2 days are reserved for praising Communism). And that you can
catch this disease called Communism by watching TV, dancing, and of course
not going to church at least once a day. Of course, he casually forgets to
mention the fact that the church apparently wants to this way make sheep
out of its followers, just like he accuses the Commies of doing. Eventually,
preacher Pirkle tells the story of a whole parish being shot dead by the
Commies after in one go, and still a little boy who just saw his parents
slaughtered by them stands up for Jesus - and is of course shot, too. This
is when Judy has an epiphany, and promises to give her life to Jesus our
saviour in front of the whole congregation ... Very probably
the crudest and bluntest anti-Communist propaganda film I have ever seen -
heck, I have yet to see Communist propaganda-movie half as blunt. The
whole point of this film is of course that it has no point: It says
Communism is bad and takes that as a given. Communism as such is never
even discussed, the good preacher just retells a few exaggerated stories
about the horrible Commies to his congregation, stories that are
dramatized by newly reborn Christian Ron Ormond set in a typical American
neighbourhood. This dramatizations though put an emphasis on the drastic
and show torture and gore in some detail. However, preacher Pirkle's
version of Christianity is equally crude, it is (according to this film)
not based on actual deeds but on going to church often and holding on to a
conservative set of mores that don't necessarily have much to do with
Christianity at all. In all the film will probably have done nothing to
convert one person to Christ or get one person away from Communism, it's
made by a preacher to confirm his flock of yeasayers who are just supposed
to be confirmed in their (misguided) beliefs, while the rest of the world
will probably laugh at it - and rightly so, this film is a hoot, a great
collection of unintentional humour!
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