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USA 2019
produced by
Jon Dabach, Rob Margolies, Danny Isaacs (executive), Tom Colley (executive), Tony Todd (executive)
directed by Rob Margolies (segment Chelsea), Danny Isaacs (segment Gary & Vanessa), Tom Colley (segment Ted & Mary), Jon Dabach (segment Warren)
starring segment Chelsea: Dylan Baker, Lindsay Mushett, Michael Shenefelt, Aaron Dalla Villa, Sade Grandberry, Alana Toledo, Owen Halligan, Rebecca Knowles, Christine McCann, Gabi Faye, Micah Scroggins, Matthew Louie, Rachel Slotky, Kate Falk, DaShawn Jackson; Gary & Vanessa: Agnes Bruckner, Brett Edwards, Mario Van Peebles, Sarah Carey, Moshe Rubel; segment Ted & Mary: Tony Todd, Robin Bartlett, Vanessa Lengies, C.J. Vana, Sara Newton, Omar Cano; segment Warren: Samm Levine, Jason Stuart, Joanne Verbos, Ben Reed
written by Jon Dabach, music by Kieran Kiely

review by
Mike Haberfelner

Four tales about what if immortality was really a thing:

  • Chelsea: Mr. Shagis (Dylan Baker), the sympathetic and compassionate teacher, is actually a big game hunter with a predilection for human prey, and this time he has chosen his star student and track team member Chelsea (Lindsay Mushett) to fill just that spot ...
  • Gary & Vanessa: Gary (Brett Edwards) has run out of money, so to see his pregnant wife Vanessa (Agnes Bruckner), he plans insurance fraud that would actually get him killed in an accident - just things don't always turn out the way they ought to ...
    Mario Van Peebles makes an appearance as satelite dish repair man in this one.
  • Ted & Mary: Mary (Robin Bartlett) has terminal cancer that has her in constant pain, so her loving husband Ted (Tony Todd) agrees to take her out of her misery - with horrible consequences ...
  • Warren: Warren (Samm Levine) is run over by a car and killed, and Sonia (Joanne Verbos), commits a hit and run. Thing is, Warren turns out to be immortal, so he survives the crash with hardly a scratch, and now he goes after Sonia and her husband Joe (Jason Stuart) ...

So ok, the title of this movie might be a bit of a spoiler, and the surprise endings of at least some of the segments might not come as quite surprises they ought to - but that hardly spoils the actual fun the movie is, as it's not so much based on twists and gimmickry than on good storytelling, so that even if you can anticipate the twist ending, the way to get there will have you hooked. Now add to this four stories that are focused on character rather than spectacle, solid casts and directors that give said casts enough space to come into their own and that support the story rather than distract from it, and you've got a nice piece of genre cinema.

Quick Links

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review © by Mike Haberfelner


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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from




On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide


A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD