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The title says it all: Mars needs women, and so a quintet of Martians
(Tommy Kirk, Warren Hammack, Ton Huston, Larry Tanner, Cal Duggan) have
come to earth to abduct some (five to be exact), while the army, who knows
about the Martians' plans, desperately tries to stop them.
Four of the five women the Martians plan to bring home with them are
easily found and abducted, it's a stripper (Bubbles Cash), a stewardess
(Donna Lindberg), a homecoming queen (Sherry Roberts) and a painter (Pat
Delaney), but Fellow #1 (Tommy Kirk), the leader of the Martians, has set
himself a slightly more difficult task: Doctor Bolen (Yvonne Craig),
member of the army's anti-Martian panel. Soon, he has charmed Dr Bolen and
they are going out, however, he refuses to use Martian hypnotism on her to
get it over with, instead really falls in love with her (and she with
him). Then though he learns the army has finally found out where the
Martians are hiding out and plan to raid the place, so he, accompanied by
Doc Bolenm, rushes back to his fellow Martians to tell them to abort the
mission ... and ultimately, the Martians go back to their planet without
women, but Fellow #1 has found out what true love is, and he has left Doc
Bolen behind in tears ...
First and foremost, no trash-sci-fi fan can deny the fact that Mars
Needs Women is probably one of the greatest titles in sci-fi
history.
That said though, the film that's hiding behind the title is nothing
short of pathetic, and I don't mean pathetic in a good way. The
film is just too darn boring, it's totally free of suspense, shocks,
action or excitement, and it doesn't even work properly as a romance.
Actually it seems director Larry Buchanan wasn't interested in
screenwriter Buchanan's script at all but just put the camera pretty much
anywhere and let the actors do their lines (which would also explain some
horrible performances). And after that was done he padded the film out
with some unnecessary stock footage from the Air Force and of a football
game to get it to proper running time. To top it all off, the few effects
showing the Martians' UFO flying are godawful and the Martians' outfits
are nothing short of ridiculous ...
This all could/would have been forgivable, but what's worst about the
film: It's taking itself dead-serious ... I mean please !!!
So despite the great, persuasive title, DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM !!!
By the way, this film is frequently quoted as being a (semi-)remake of
1964's Pajama Party, a beach party film starring Annette
Funicello, but apart from that film too being a sci-fi-romance with Tommy
Kirk as an alien, the similarities are very limited. Don't believe
everything they write !
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