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Massacro

Masacre

Italy 1989
produced by
Lucio Fulci, Luigi Nannerini, Antonio Lucidi for Cine Duck
directed by Andrea Bianchi
starring Patrizia Falcone, Gino Concari, Silvia Conti, Pier Maria Cecchini, Robert Egon, Danny Debli Espositi, Marcello Furgiele, Lubka Lenzi, Anna Maria Placido, Maria Grazia Veroni, Cristina Lynn, Piero Pieri, Paul Muller, Maurice Poli
written by Andrea Bianchi, music by Luigi Ceccarelli

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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A serialkiller roams the city, and after a time he seems to settle on a filmset, slaughtering actors and crew alike in a violent and gory manner. However it seems the leading lady Jennifer (Patrizia Falcone) has little to fear since her boyfriend Walter (Gino Concari) is the investigating inspector on the case, and he sees to it that she is properly protected at all times.

Then too, the killer is actually captured after killing a couple making out in a car, and it turns out to be an escapee from a local loonie bin. Now it seems, shooting on the film - a horror film, of course, but with its fair share of transvestites - can go on undisturbed ... but in the very first night after the killer has been caught, no less than three staff members are killed in a ghastly fashion ...

Walter has a call on his answering machine, telling him to back off Jennifer because she will be next ... which of course causes him to put her under extra close guard, while he has the tape with the call analyzed in the lab ... and wouldn't you know it, the voice on the tape is his own, and as soon as this is out, he slaughters the cop guarding Jennifer, then goes after her - but he himself has seen to it that she carries a gun, and now she shoots him dead ... and in the end, she is arrested as the serial killer ...

Veteran actor Paul Muller plays the chief of police.

 

What a piece of garbage: If this is what the giallo genre has come to in the late 1980's, it's a good thing that they have since pretty much stopped making them. The plot is of at best remote interest, filled up with tired clichés, and contains plotholes aplenty (the biggest being, why does Walter leave a message as the killer on his own answering machine, then send it to the lab to analyze it, knowing perfectly well his voice will be identified, and why does he give Jennifer a gun before attacking her ?), the actors are all totally bland, the direction is incredibly flat, the gore scenes lack excitement, and the whole thing is completely devoid of suspense. And if the film after all of this still holds a tiny bit of interest, it is shattered by your typical 1980's synthie pop score.

In two words, oh boy !

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

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Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
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