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Ninja Mission

Sweden 1984
produced by
Roger Lundgren for VTC
directed by Mats Helge
starring Krzysztof Kolberger, Hanna Pola, Curt Broberg, Hans Rosteen, Sirka Sander, Bo F.Munthe, John Quantz, Mark Davies, Wolf Linder, Mats Helge, Bret Barber, Bob Gileberg, Nigel Bennett, Lucy Frost, Derek Keith, Victor Lester, Terry Jason, Mario Miller
written by Matthew Jacobs

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Professor Markov (Curt Broberg), who defected to communist Russia ages ago, now wants to defect back to the West, because he has developed the ultimate weapon & doesn't want to let it fall into the hands of the Russians (which naturally makes one wonder why did he defect to Russia in the first place), and he wants to see his daughter Nadia (Hanna Pola) again, who lives & works as a nightclub singer in Sweden.

... but somehow the  Russians have grown wise to his plans, & his own ssistant Nastassia (Sirka Sander) makes sure that Markov stays in Russia, but believes it to be the West (!) so he develops the ultimate weapon for them ... but to that end they have to kidnap Nadia, reunite her with her father & convince her as well they< are stilll in Sweden (!!) ... & to that end they keep them both in agent Ableman's (Hans Rosteen) vast but secluded masnion ...

But naturally, the CIA have grown wise to Markov's plans to defect as well as the KGB's plans to keep him in Russia, so they send Mason (Krzysztov Kolberger) & his gang of ninjas (!!!) to Ableman's mansion with a pocketful of stupid gadgets. Of course at first, the KGB wants to convince Markov & Nadia that Mason & his gang are the KGB, but eventually, the KGB can't but show its ugly face, & from here on Mason leads the way to the free world, using all firepower, fistpower & ninjastars available to reach its goal. During this, Markov & all of AMson's ninjas are shot, but Mason & Nadia make it out of the mansion, blow it to kingdom come & make it to Sweden.

Of all the KGBaddies, only Ableman has remained alive, & seeing the tide has turned he now wants to sell Markov's plans for the ultimate weapon to the CIA ... but fails to notice that Mason has removed the vital parts beforehands ... & instead of handing them over to his superiors, Mason destoprys them for the sake of peace.

 

Now let's be honest, a ninja movie made in Sweden -  a country that does not have a long tradition of ninjas -, that sounds interesting, & if only for the fact that it is a ninja movie made in Sweden. Unfortunately the film is everything but interesting: It's just another boring Cold War espionage thriller, with ninjas thrown in for no particular reason, with a weak routine storyline serving as a hanger for unimaginatively staged car chases & incompetently staged martial arts ... & whjat's even worse, it's totally boring.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
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