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I Nuovi Barbari

The New Barbarians
Metropolis 2000 / Warriors of the Wasteland

Italy 1982
produced by
Fabrizio De Angelis for DEAF International
directed by Enzo G. Castellari
starring Giancarlo Prete (as Timothy Brent), Fred Williamson, George Eastman (= Luigi Montefiori), Anna Kannakis, Thomas Moore (= Ennio Girolami), Venantino Vanantini, Massimo Vanni, Giovanni Frezza, Iris Peynado, Andrea Coppola, Vito Fornari, Zora Kerova, Fulvio Mingozzi, Enrica Saltutti, Marinella Troian, Patsy May McLachlan, Franco Maria Salamon, Stefano Randazzo, Ivano Silvari, Paul Dion Monte
story by Tito Carpi, screenplay by Tito Carpi, Enzo G. Castellari, music by Claudio Simonetti

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Post doomsday: Most of the world lies in ruins, most people are mutants or dead, but there are still groups of (uncontaminated) settlers who travel the wastelands in caravans, looking for civilisation. And there's this dangerous cult called The Templars, led by One (George Eastman), that is out to kill all (non-Templar) survivors of the holocaust simply because they don't deserve to live. And then there's loners like Scorpion (Giancarlo Prete), who roam the wastelands in their heavily armed supercars just trying to stay behind. And Scorpion it seems is too tough even for the Templars.

One day Scorpion stumbles upon a bunch of Templars trying to get hold of a woman, Alma (Anna Kanakis), and with a bit of help from fellow loner Nadir (Fred Williamson) he saves her from the Templars' clutches. However, as she is seriously injured, the two bring her to a settlers' caravan, led by pastor Moses (Venantino Venantini) - to have her treated. Once better, Alma decides to join the caravan, but Scorpion, whom she has fallen in love with, declines the offer to also join because the Templars are after him. But when he drives away, he has to realize how close the Templars have already gotten, as they soon have him cornered, captured and all tied up, whereupon One himself rapes him anally (now that doesn't happen to the hero in too many films).

Then One learns about the caravan in the immediate vicinity and drives off with most of his men, leaving just a few behind to finish Scorpion off. But Nadir has followed Scorpion and now sees a perfect opportunity to free him ...

Nadir brings Scorpion to Scorpion's only friend, the (very) underaged mechanic Genius (Giovanni Frezza) and has him nursed to help and his car tuned up even more. Then Nadir, Scorpion and Genius figure it's payback time and they drive to the caravan to finally wipe out One and his Templars for good ... and of course, they succeed.

 


A post-doomsday world and a bunch of guys driving around the wasteland in tuned-up vehicles ... obviously this is film is inspired by Road Warrior (one might also call it a rip-off), a film that especially Italian producers liked to take as an inspiration. On closer inspection though, the film resembles more a good old-fashioned Western about a settlers' treck being saved from baddies (sometimes Indians) by one (or several) lone gunman, with the hero getting the girl in the end - only this time arouond, settlers, heroes and villains alike drive around in (pseudo-)futuristic cars or motorbikes and wear (pseudo-)futuristic attire.

But is the film any good ?

Not really. On one hand, direction is very solid, director Enzo G.Castellari has proven himself quite capable in handling Westerns (Keoma immediately comes to mind) and action alike (and in fact most of the action scenes are perfectly handled), however, even his experience cannot hide the cheapish, pseudo-futuristic props, sets and costumes and can't make the atrocious 1980's-synthie pop music score (some of the worst music Claudio Simonetti has ever written) undone. What we're left with is a well put together piece of at times quite violent high camp and utter trash, which might be quite entertaining if one keeps an open mind ... but more often than not entertaining for all the wrong reasons.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
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