Palisade Defence, an international arm manufacturer, has invited its employees to a typical weekend of a bunch of teambuilding exercises and similar stuff to their lodge in Hungary - but the weekend doesn't even start out well when the employees - teamleader Richard (Tim McInnery), dopehead Steve (Danny Dyer), blonde American chick Maggie (Laura Harris), nerdish Gordon (Andy Nyman), token black guy Billy (Babou Ceesay), way too self-assured Harris (Toby Stephens) and pacifist Jill (Claudie Blackley) - are first dumped inthe middle of nowhere then find a house they believe to be the lodge that seems to have a dark past and where pie seems to be made out of human flesh.

When they a short time later find the driver of their bus (S�ndor Boros) killed and Gordon's leg gets trapped and eventually cut off by a beartrap (in a rather hilarious scene, really), they know they are down on their luck. An attempt to make an escape in the bus (they found with the dead busdriver) leads to an accident caused by a person or persons unknown, who also decapitate Harris and burn Jill to a cinder. The rest of the team somehow makes it back to the house, and they try to barricade themselves inside - but don't make a good job orf it, and before you know it, the assailants, whoever they are have kidnapped and cut up Gordon and shot Billy.

Upon escaping, Richard steps onto a landmine - incidently one of Palisade's own -, and only Steve and Maggie make it to a house that turns out to be the real lodge and where the company's president George (David Gilliam) is partying with two callgirls (Juli Drajk�, Judit Viktor) - but the party's soon over when they learn the news. And when George launches a missile at the assailants, he has to learn it's only good for shooting down airplanes (in which he succeeds without even wanting it).

Upon their escape, George is soon trapped and caught up while the callgirls fall into a manhole and try to make a rope out of (almost) all their cloths trying to get out, while Steve actually manages to fight and defeat a few of the attackers ... and Maggie makes it to an abandoned production plant that looks more than a little like a concentration camp and that might explain the attackers. Unfortunately though, once at the plant, the last of the assailants catches up with Maggie and already prepares to kill her when ... in comes the cavallery, meaning the two callgirls (who were since saved by Steve) armed with guns who finally put an end to the horrors ...

In writing, Severance seems to be a pretty weak piece of celluloid, the umpteenth version of the old slasher formula with virtually no new or unexpected plot elements. On film though, Severance is a different matter altogether, it's a black comedy as fresh as can be without merely being self-referential (like the Scream series of movies) that is as suspenseful and exciting as it is wickedly funny and that effortlessly swings from hilarious to horrific and back again, often more than once in even the same scene. And even though the film is based on a decades old formula, slasher movies have hardly ever looked that good.

Recommended !

review � by Mike Haberfelner

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

now streaming at

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
is all of that.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to -
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

Out now from
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