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Stiff Jobs

USA 2009
produced by
Kevin Strange, PJ Scoggins for Hack Movies
directed by Kevin Strange
starring Thaddeus Starbuckle, David Wayne Black, Kevin Strange, Vinnie Bonnaducci, Joshitsuo Montoya
written by Kevin Strange

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Wolfram (Thaddeus Starbuckle) and Windgate (David Wayne Black) may spend most of their time walking around Strangeville discussing blowjobs and the like, but they are also the city's toughest hitmen. This time around, they are hired to kill gay well-to-do gay pedophile Percy and cat torturer, but they only have a 45 minute window to do so ... which is when they find the corpse of hitman Cletus Choat (Joshitsuo Montoya) in Windgate's car, and can't put the stiff in the trunk because this is where Windgate keeps his collection of tranny-porn ... so it's off to the backseat with the dead man - and with Papa McShango as well, a voodoo priest they had to shoot because he got in their way.

Finally, Wolfram and Windgate get to Percy just in time, but he somehow tries to wiggle out of the affair, offering them the world in exchange for his life - and a book of magic he claims would make his death futile. Percy gets his brains blown out anyhow, but the hitmen take the book.

Later, Wolfram and Windgate run across Cock Hammer (Kevin Strange), their employer, who reveals to them that the whole affair was really just about the book of magic, and Percy never was the pedophile and cat torturer he has made him to be. But since Wolfram and Windgate did their job quite so well, he offers them to come into his employ, the employ of the lord of hell. The two hitmen refuse, and are immediately sent to zombie hell, having to face their zombiefied victims all at once ... ouch!

 

In the portrayal of its two hitmen, Stiff Jobs was quite obviously inspired by Pulp Fiction, especially considering the hitmen's outifts, hairdos, facial hair, and their tendency to endlessly talk about things (seemingly) least important to the film's plot. However, here is where the similarities between the two movies end, since contrary to Pulp Fiction, Stiff Jobs is full of blow job-, anal sex- and shit-jokes, all kinds of bodily fluids (especially blood and sperm), and utter nonsense. However, wading through all of this, the film keeps its story going and doesn't linger on any particular fart joke for too long - which is often the problem of this kind of comedy, of the big and small budget-kind alike.

As for the actors: As could be expected from a low budget, (very) independent film, neither of the leads is particularly talented, but it seems writer/director Kevin Strange has made an artform out of giving his amateur thespians almost endless passages of (nonsense) dialogue just to watch them get through them in one take - to intentionally hilarious results. (Strange himself by the way gives a pretty good performance - quite possibly his best -, hamming it up as the film's main villain.)

In all, Stiff Jobs is certainly not for the easily offended (and was never meant to be), but if you're ready for a bit of bad taste overkill in the context of a hitman movie, this is your film.

 

Available from http://www.hackmovies.com.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

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Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
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love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
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a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
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screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
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