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The Toolbox Murders

USA 2003
produced by
Tom DiDio, Gary LaPoten, Terence S. Potter, Jacqueline Quella, Ryan Carroll (executive), Frank Strausser (executive), Ronnie Truss (executive), Mark Wooding (executive) for Alpine Pictures, Scary Movies, Toolbox Murders Inc
directed by Tobe Hooper
starring Angela Bettis, Juliet Landau, Brent Roam, Christopher Doyle, Rance Howard, Sara Downing, Adam Gierasch, Greg Travis, Marco Rodriguez, Eric Ladin, Sheri Moon, Alan Polonsky, Stephanie Silverman, Adam Weisman, Charlease Burke, Price Carson
written by Jace Anderson, Adam Giersach, music by Joseph Conlan, special effects by Dean Jones, John Roth, Eddie Surkin

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Moving into their new Hollywood appartment, Nell (Angela Bettis) & Steven (Brent Roam) are shocked by the state it, & the hole building, is in - everything leaking showers, defective buzzers & ovens to endless renovation works & ahmmering late at night. & while Steven - a young doctor - is hardly at home in the first place, Nell is pretty much driven crazy by the place - & she doesn't even know yet that a killer's roaming the building as well.

However, soon she notices people from the building disappearing, including her hippie next-door-neighbour Saffron (Sara Downing) & her jogging mate Julia (Juliet Landau), & after the police won't believe her since she has already placed a false alarm once, she starts some investigations of her own ... & soon finds out that the building is missing one appartment at every floor, & that some symbols, mounted at every bloor as decoration, might actually be runes to gain access to the missing appartments ... & gaining access she does, only to find rooms full of corpses, new & old, & a secret staircase ... but by now the killer has taken notice of her presence & chases her to his maze of secret rooms.

But who could the killer be ?

Byron, the slimey building manager (Greg Travis) ?

Ned, the creepy handiman (Adam Gierasch) ?

Chas, the has-been movie actor who seems to know everything about the building (Rance Howard) ?

Luis, the doorman (Marco Rodriguez) ?

Might it even be Steven ?

Nope, it's the Phantom of the Opera (Christopher Doyle) - & believe me, I was as surprised about this as you might be as there were no precursors that the Phantom would even be in this movie.

... & the Phantom of the Opera closes in on Nell rather quickly, but thank god Steven came home just in time, & he figures out all the clues that Nell has taken all the film to decipher in no more than 5 minutes before forming a rescue party together with Byron & Luis - who of course die in the process, they had cannonfodder written on tgheir foreheads right from the beginning anyway - , & like a knight in shining armour, Steven saves Nell from the Phantom of the Opera, even though the Phantom of the Opera plunges a knife into his belly.

Of course in one of this overused twist endings, the Phantom of the Opera isn't really dead & comes after Nell again ... & maybe yet again after the movie is over since - wouldn't you know it - his corpse is never found ...

 

This not-too-bad slasher might be Tobe Hooper's best movie after Texas Chainsaw Massacre - which isn't saying much since he has turned out mainly crap after that movie -m, as Hooper here at least tries to build up & maintain suspense, & for a good part of the movie that even works. However, when he throws in the Phantom of the Opera towards the ending (though it's not called that, actually, but Coffin Boy, a boy who fought his way out of his dead mother's womb when she was already in her coffin) it just turns silly, since it throws pretty much the whole mysticism-murder-mystery-build up  out of the window, instead aiming for the near-supernatural serialkiller variety that has already been overused in the 70's with the Friday the 13th- & Halloween-series. & when the film takes a macho-turn with Steven - who has done pretty much nothing during the rest of the film - turning up to save his little woman, that's really too much

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
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love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

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Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
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a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
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Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
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Out now from
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