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Weirdo

USA 2007
produced by
Blue Kat Boneyard
directed by Jeff Stoll
starring Mr ??? (= Dale Pierce)
screenplay, cinematography and archives by Dale Pierce, edited by Jeff Stoll, music by Jeff Stoll

review by
Harold Metzger

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What can you say about a director and company that intentionally creates one of the worst films ever made, even going as far as to intentionally spell Weirdo wrong as Werido in the credits and see if anyone catches it ? That that is exactly what happens in this surreal film about nothing.  Supposedly inspired by the old EP record, John & Marsha, which was best seller many decades ago (it consisted of a man and woman blubbering each other's names for a couple minutes and that was it, yet it was a bestseller), Weirdo wants to continually have the viewer ask, "What is this fucking shit ?" This is presumedly what goes through everyone's minds.

More information on Weirdo may be found at http://www.myspace.com/weirdotheweirdo while after early March of 2007, it may be ordered from CustomFlix at http://www.CustomFlix.com/224292 and on amazon.com.

So what is this DVD about ? More or less, Mr ??? of Museo Taurino and The Monster Within comes on and proudly announces "Hello, I'm a weirdo, do you have the nerve to see what goes on in my head? " He then plops one of the dishes he is washing over himself like a  skull cap, grins stupidly at the camera and you are treated to a Leone type shot into his eye. This is followed by two hours of the most moronic, infantile, ignorant, annoying bullshit ever seen, before he re-emerges. He then announces even more proudly, "I told you I was a weirdo." 

That's it. That's what it is all about.

You see an old building with an outside shithouse, repeated footage of old Eerie and Pennsylvania railroad trains in Akron at the defunct station which is now part of the University. You see extended footage of Mothergooseland in Canton, long gone, the action taken off old 8mm film and set to music. The Big Bad Wolf, a whale with an open mouth, The Three Little Pigs and other menacing figures loom and leer at you while an absurd soundtrack plats in the background. You see airplanes, sometimes flying right side up and sometimes upside down. Ditto for boats and kiddyland steamtrains. There is footage from Disneyland, in varied colors and images, messing with both the screen and your eyesight. There are waterfalls, which emit a redone splashing sound like water being dumped out from a bucket, horses which leave loud farts and crying babies when there are no humans around.

This is clearly a film designed to be laughed at at parties where the audience is drunk or drugged up. It is like being on an acid trip without the acid.

Other illogical action includes clips of bullfighters, a pile of horseshit in a  corral, litter blowing down an old set of railroad tracks, a Christmas light display with a soundtrack that makes the scene sound and look like something from Alice In Wonderland and scenes from the resort town of Berchtesgaden in Germany. You are also treated to a canal boat ride in Venice, a glimpse of Michelangelo's David in Florence and his   marble weenie worm, the church in Padua where St. Anthony is buried, the unimpressive attributes of downtown Doikver, Ohio, a bunch of caboose displays, a western town/tourist trap and a gigantic St Bernard drooling into the camera. Essentially whatever doesn't make sense is what these people turned out in the project.

"Thank god, Jeff, who did the sound effects did not put the sound of sreeching breaks and a car crash into the bullfighting segment, like he did someplace else in the film" commented Mr. ??? "You see, the bullfighter in this footage, Finito, was killed in a car crash a few months after the footage was shot back in 1974. If that effect would have been put in the movie, you would have had a load of pissed off bullfight fans for sure."

Instead, Finito is seen fighting the bulls with the fury of a wild man, but to the repetitive and annoying Weirdo Theme which crops up at numerous times in the movie, which brings us to the music.

The soundtrack, by Jeff Stoll, is far more noteworthy than anything else in this picture. In fact, the DVD is worth having just for the score. Aside from reusing past themes from The Monster Within and Museo Taurino, Stoll also creates varied pieces for this project. The Weirdo Theme is a loud and abrasive piece, but it grows on you. It is honestly quite effective, like something from Goblin or, dare I say, Morricone ! Aside from the song, there are Morricone-ish effects at varied times within the playing of this score, including farting sounds, motorcycles, breaking glass, cows mooing and horns honking. Ennio would  be proud of the comparison ... maybe.

"Weirdo is like a two hour nightmare or madman's delusion," explained Stoll. "It is designed to be like an extended dream or psychotic delusion. It takes a whacked-out world and puts it on the screen for all to see."

"I find it funny," Mr ??? added. "You see, I can envision the reaction of people watching this shit. I see them looking like they have just been gangraped by the time the movie ends, just staring at the screen and scarred for life. I also see people trying to find symbolism that is not there and try to figure out why these parts were put in where they were. We did whatever did not make sense. No reason other than that. Yet people love to get artistic and love to study stuff. I see this becoming some kind of underground classic or people calling Stoll a genius. To me this is hilarious, even funnier than Weirdo itself."

There is supposedly a part two being made later on called Weirdo II - Nutty As A Fruitcake. As if one Weirdo wasn't enough ... or maybe one too many.

 

review © by Harold Metzger

 

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Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!