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Anaconda

USA 1997
produced by
Jack Epps jr, Verna Harrah, Carole Little, Leonard Rabinowitz, Susan Ruskin (executive) for Cinema Line Film Corporation, Iguana Producciones, Middle Fork Productions, Skylight Cinema Foto Art, St. Tropez Films/Columbia
directed by Luis Llosa
starring Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, Jon Voight, Eric Stoltz, Jonathan Hyde, Owen Wilson, Kari Wuhrer, Vincent Castellanos, Danny Trejo
written by Hans Bauer, Jim Cash, Jack Epps jr, music by Randy Edelman, animatronic effects by Edge Innovations

review by
Mike Haberfelner



A small documentary filmcrew - showrunner Terri (Jennifer Lopez), host Westridge (Jonathan Hyde), "expert" Cale (Eric Stoltz), cam guy Danny (Ice Cube) and crew (Owen Wilson, Kari Wuhrer) - have hired guide Serone (Jon Voight) to lead them into a territory where one of the last "lost" native tribes of the Amazon jungle is supposed to be found. However, the expedition seems to be under a bad star from the get-go, and soon the boat - commandeered by Serone's crony Mateo (Vincent Castellanos) - loses all of its fuel supply, and Cale has a near fatal accident and needs urgent medical attention. So the team makes the decision to abandon the project and turn around ... but Serone has a different idea: Fact is, he couldn't care less about lost tribes and documentaries, but is on a mission to hunt the biggest and deadliest snake of them all, a giant anaconda that has been sighted in that particular part of the Amazon. And he really couldn't care less about the filmmakers or their well-being, in fact he considers them as bait more than anything else. Of course, our documentarians are not happy about this, but Serone's a cunning one and has pretty much tricked them into their position. Problem is, the anaconda in question is a bit bigger than expected, and soon even Serone has to admit he's in it over his head - so a deadly fight for survival commences, and as much is sure, not many will survive ...

 

When Anaconda came out in 1997, it was quick to be ridiculed by pretty much everybody - but maybe not for the right reasons. Actually, except for the titular creature itself (an unconvincing mix of animatronics and CGI that basically fails to look scary), the film is rather well-made, with all the action and shocks in the right places. The problem comes when we talk about the film's narrative, as the script feels like a soulless pile of adventure movie clichés that have been done way better in the past, with characters that are paperthin walking through one genre mainstay after the next. And unfortunately, none of the actors are capable of giving their two-dimensional characters much depth, with the usually dependable Jon Voight really taking the cake with his outlandish portrayal of the villain with a terrible accent. The other problem, the film feels like a low budget flick throughout while the reported budget of 45 million Dollars clearly suggests otherwise - the money just doesn't translate onto the screen. That all said, the worst about the film is the fact that it's actually not all bad, so doesn't really qualify as a so-bad-it's-good guilty pleasure, it's just a film brought down by its mediocricy and sollessness.

 

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review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

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Tales to Chill
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Tales to Chill
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