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The Beta Test

USA / UK 2021
produced by
Natalie Metzger, Matt Miller, Benjamin Wiessner, Douglas Choi (executive), John Jeffrey Martin (executive), Jake Orthwein (executive), Alex C. Rudolph (executive), Matthew A. Stewart (executive) for Vanishing Angle, DiffeRant Productions, Sons of Rigor Films
directed by Jim Cummings, PJ McCabe
starring Jim Cummings, Virginia Newcomb, PJ McCabe, Kevin Changaris, Olivia Grace Applegate, Jessie Barr, Christian Hillborg, Malin Barr, Jacqueline Doke, Wilky Lau, Ammar Aldieri, Raji Maroun Ayac, Ivan Bernal, Sam Breen, Meredith Casey, Bryan Casserly, Ray Chao, Monroe Cline, Laura Coover, Courtney Courter, Luciana Faulhaber, Dustin Hahn, Evan Haigh, Jackie Johnson, Chen Chen Julian, Sandy Khanzode, Chris Lee, John Philip Loof, Will Madden, Jeffrey Markle, John Jeffrey Martin, Boni Mata, Jadene Meyer, Ryan Nilsen, Maggie Noble, Scott Parkin, Keith Powell, Brayden Reeves, Misha Reeves, Ashley Denise Robinson, Grant Rosenmeyer, Bridge Stuart, Joy Sunday, Julio Trinidad, Ambre Rose Trujillo, Mark Wind, Lya Yanne
written by Jim Cummings, PJ McCabe, music by Jeffrey Campbell Binner, Ben Lovett

review by
Mike Haberfelner

Available on DVD!

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Jordan (Jim Cummings) is a Hollywood agent about to get married to his girlfriend Caroline (Virginia Newcomb) - and with the wedding only weeks away, he gets an invitation to a blind sex date, which he accepts after some hesitation. And the "blind" part of the date is to be taken literally, as he and the woman wear blindfolds throughout. It's only after the fact that Jordan starts to panic, and he tries to find out who arranged all of this and who he had sex with, because ... there's no real reason, he's not blackmailed, it's highly unlikely that he has fallen in love with the woman he had only had sex with, never actually seen let alone talked to, and he's way too paranoid for sheer curiosity. Oh, and murders happen around him that might have to do with similar blind date situations - but then again, maybe not. After barking up one too many trees, Jordan actually finds the blackmailer and pays him a visit - but he's really not sure what to do once he has cornered him ...

 

To say something positive up front, Jim Cummings is great in the lead. Now it's not that he comes across as particularly relatable let alone likeable, but that's the point of his character, he's a lying and deceiving bastard trying to make his way through the city of lies that Hollywood (or at least the satire-steeped version the film shows as Hollywood) is. Unfortunately, that character navigates through a film that lacks a central conflict, doesn't afford its lead too much motivation, and has a satirical edge to it that's not really fleshed out while also playing with horror motives that just lead to nowhere (despite a very impressive setpiece opening the movie). It's really a shame that the film doesn't fall together, as again, Cummings' performance is great, and there are some other good parts in this, it just never feels as if it went the distance.

 

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review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

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