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Jack Scabtree (Joshitsuo Montoya) has just been discharged from the
army, mainly because he is a serial killer, when he's all of a sudden
killed by a sextet of teens with a giant concrete lollipop. The teens then
hide his body in a nearby forest and head home. But Scabtree's mother
(Jonny Jonny) finds her son, brings him back to life with some kind of
voodoo ... and now Scabtree - or Colonel Kill Motherfuckers, as he is now
known, is after the kids with a vengeance. The kids are actually a bunch
of roleplaying dorks who know more about Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dragon
Ball Z and internet porn than about the real world, but then Janet (Tanya
Fox) has come up with the idea to get drunk and get high for a change
instead of just spending another evening at home - and that's how they ran
into Scabtree in the first place. Soon, one of the kids (Eric
A.Williams) panics and wants to go looking after the dead body - only to
find Scabtree resurrected and not exactly in the best of moods - so much
so that he tears the boy's face off and feeds it to him. Later, Wilhelm
(Kevin Strange) and Nancy (Katie Deerest) decide to have sex in their car
even though they know Colonel Kill is about - and sure enough, they are
attacked, and the good Colonel devours Nancy's brain. Cowardly leaving
his girlfriend behind, Wilhelm makes it back to the others, who try to set
a trap for the Colonel, but they have to realize the good Colonel isn't
one easily to be dealt with, and soon Wilhelm meets his end at the hands
of the dead soldier, before the others can chase him away with battery cid
(which they of course have lieing around quite handily). It's now that
Janet lets the others in on Colonel Kill's secret (which she knows because
she's somehow related to him) and tells them to get rid of Kill they have
to get rid of his mother - and thus the three survivors go to the home of
the Colonel ... and soon enough, yet another of our teens is killed, the
gamemaster of their roleplaying games (Andrew Varbell), before Janet
persuades Kill that his mother doesn't love him - and once he goes after
and kills his mother, he kills himself too. And Janet ? She figures
now's as good as any to invite the only other survivor (TimO) to a round
of sex ...
One thing up front: Colonel Kill Motherfuckers is not the most
perfect film ever, essentially it's a clearly recognizable amateur movie,
shot on a miniscule budget with actors that could have needed quite a bit
of training (at least some of them). Having said that, Colonel Kill
Motherfuckers is by no means a bad movie, it's a loving and genre-wise
parody of the slasher movies of the 1980's that's far better scripted than
any of the big budget blockbuster genre parodies out there (you know,
these movies with titles that end on the word movie, as if that was
funny), that doesn't try to recreate exact scenes from other films to
achieve a comical effect or drown its story in pop culture references
(which are probably incomprehensible five years from now anyways), but
instead has some really funny lines and plottwists that are all
story-motivated, and even some of the actors' lack of skills is used to
full (hilarious) effect when they are going through genre-typical
dialogue. So Colonel Kill Motherfuckers might not be y perfect
film, but if you grab a few friends and a few beers, and don't take it too
seriously (after all, it's a comedy in the first place), I'm sure you'll
be entertained - and I'm sure the film was intended as just that, an
entertaining party movie.
By the way, this film might not be available at your local
store or any of the big internet retailers, but directly from HackMovies.com
for just $ 9,99 - so why don't you give it a try.
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find Colonel Kill Motherfuckers at adultvideouniverse.com
