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Creep

UK / Germany 2004
produced by
Julie Baines, Jason Newmark, Robert Jones (executive) for Dan Films, Zero Film, UK Film Council, Filmstiftung Nordrhein-Westfalen
directed by Christopher Smith
starring Franka Potente, Vas Blackwood, Ken Campbell, Jeremy Sheffield, Paul Rattray, Kelly Scott, Sean Harris, Kathryn Gilfeather, Grant Ibbs, Joe Anderson, Sean De Vrind, Ian Duncan, Craig Fackrell, Debora Weston, Emily Gilchrist, Elizabeth McKEchnie, Jonathan Taylor, Morgan Jones, Daniel Joseph Scott, Spencer Hawken, Bonito Senden
written by Christopher Smith, music by the Insects, special makeup and prosthetic effectrs by Mike H.G.Bates, Mike Stringer/Hybrid Enterprises, visual effects by Phil Attfield, Simon Frame

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Actually, upper class party girl Kate (Franka Potente) wanted to take the subway to meet with George Clooney, but then she falls asleep at the station, misses the last train and finds herself locked into the London subway system. Fortunately, she meets Guy (Jeremy Sheffield), a guy she knows from work (no explanation why he turned up here), but unfortunately he tries to rape her. Fortunately she is saved just in time, but unfortunately, her saviour, whom she hasn't seen, seems to be some kind of superhuman serialkiller who prowls the subway system.

Fleeing in panic, Kate eventually meets up with homeless heroin addict Jimmy (Paul Rattray), who promises to get her to street level, but then whatever-it-is kills Jimmy's girlfriend Mandy (Kelly Scott), and Jimmy gives up his noble intentions to help the damsel in distress and goes after whatever-it-is ... only to end up killed himself.

Eventually, Kate is captured by the killer and put into a cage somewhere down the sewage system, where the killer, a malformed human-like creature, keeps his victims. The victims are mostly corpses, but there is one other survivor, George (Vas Blackwood), and he and Kate somehow manage to escape, and eventually they manage to make it to an abandoned lab that is walled up to anywhere but the sewers where human experiments were obviously conducted, and the result might very well be the creep, the killer who's after them. Of course the creep catches up with our heroes, and eventually, after George loses his cool, he kills him, but Kate is not without resources herself and ultimately kills the creep - just before the subway opens for business again in the morning.

 


Basically, Creep is what I would call a featureless horror film, It's slick alright and reasonably well made, but it lacks pretty much any kind of inventiveness or distinctiveness whatsoever, and on top of that, it makes remarkably little out of its basic premise, and the whole concept of a woman captured in the subway sstem having to fight of a half-human killer becomes little more than an elaborate game of tag - every classic Doctor Who-episode made more out of the running down some corridors-routine. Plus, Franka Potente isn't a strong enough actress to carry the film, and her tendency to overact doesn't help much either.

Having said all that, at least the film is unremarkable enough to be forgotten quickly instead of annoyingly sticking to the mind - but I guess that's not a real compliment.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!