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Don't Fuck in the Woods 2

USA 2022
produced by
Shawn Burkett, Ryan Stacy, Brittany Blanton, Travis Wilson, Rob Collins, Andrew Moore, Stephen J. Hodke, Scott Gillespie for Concept Media, Taintbad Productions, Rising Fire Films, Studio 605, Head on a Stick Productions
directed by Shawn Burkett
starring Brittany Blanton, Cheyenne Gordon, Kenzie Phillips, Mark Justice, Kaylee Williams, Jason Crowe, Kayla Elizabeth, Alex Gottmann, Nessa Moore, Tom Komisar, Julie Anne Prescott, Cara McConnell, Brandy Mason, Stephen J. Hodke
written by Cheyenne Gordon, Shawn Burkett, music by Rocky Gray, special effects by Taintbad Productions

Don't Fuck in the Woods

review by
Mike Haberfelner

Available on DVD !

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The title of this movie should already be warning enough, but will these youngsters ever learn?

Under the supervision of caretaker Gil (Cheyenne Gordon) and nurse Vanessa (Nessa Moore), a group of young counselors (Kenzie Phillips, Mark Justice, Kaylee Williams, Jason Crowe, Kayla Elizabeth, Alex Gottmann) are to get a run down summercamp ready for the season. But they really have mostly sex on their minds - which also leads to jealousy galore. Enter Jane (Brittany Blanton), who has very visibly just been through hard times (the occurences in the first Don't Fuck in the Woods to be precise) and who warns them of some worm creatures lose in the woods that penetrate humans, either vaginally or anally, to possess them and turn them into killers. A wild story for sure, but even if our heroes would believe her, it's much too late, as two of the group (Kaylee Williams, Jason Crowe) have already wandered off into the woods to, well, fuck - and of course they return to the camp possessed and on a killing spree. So it's up to the others to defend themselves - and that's really something they're hardly equipped for. And of course, the local sheriff (Tom Komisar) who's after Gil just because he has spent some time in jail isn't the least bit of help either ...


To a weathered horror fan, the title of this movie aleady pretty much suggests what it will be, a 1980s throwback slasher with sex-obsessed youngsters getting slaughtered. And the film really delivers on this promise, and also throws some creature feature elements into the mix. Now naturally, this is hardly the recipe for the re-invention of the wheel, but all the same the film's pretty good genre entertainment still, as director Shawn Burkett very obviously understands the genre, but adds enough humour and irony to his film to give the film something of a personality, and moves things along swiftly enough to turn it into a pretty cool genre ride for sure.


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review © by Mike Haberfelner


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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from




On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide


A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD