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Chikan Densha: Shitagi Kensatsu

Groper Train: The Search for the Black Pearl
Molester Train: Underwear Inspection / Molester Train 23

Japan 1984
produced by
Daisuke Sawaki for Shishi Productions/Shintoho
directed by Yojiro Takita
starring Kaoru Kaze, Yuka Takemura, Serina Miyabi, Kazumi Kimura, Mitsuo Nakayama, Masayuki Takahashi, Kyoko Saeki, Shuji Kataoka, Naoto Takenaka, Yukijiro Hotaru
weitten by Isao Takagi, music by Kei Ousen

Molester Train

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Manchuria, 1928: A ring with the biggest black pearl ever attached to it is found on the severed hand of a dead soldier. It is found never to be seen again to this present day ...

Tokyo 1984: The soldier who has found the pearl back in the day has grown old, but uses the promise to tell her where it is to keep his young wife Matsuko having sex with him - pretty much permanently. But when he's finally abou to tell her, he dies shagging, giving her only half a clue - of all things a pussy print, or rather half a pussy print, of the old man's niece Yoko, who has left to God knows where.

With the old man out of the picture, his son from an earlier marriage Haruo enters the stage, and after shagging stepmom into submission, the two decide to team up to find the black pearl. But since neither son nor wife know where to look for another clue, they hire private eye Kuroda (Yukijiro Hotaru) - who figures the best way to find Yoko is to collect as many pussy prints as possible to compare them to the one at hand.

And how does one collect pussy prints according to this movie? Easy, just ride the Metro, molest women, spray paint on their pussies, and ... well, better don't try this at home! As stupid as it sounds, he succeeds, too. But one pussy print doesn't make a summer, does it? So Kuroda pays a visit to famed mystery writer Matsuki, who has written several books about the black pearl - but Matsuki  seems to be more interested in fondling Kuroda's sexy assistant Hamoko (Yuka Takemura) than in anything else. In the meantime though, Haruo conspires with Yoko to cheat Matsuko out of the pearl, and since it's Yoko's pussy that's the key to the mystery, he might have a head start ... but then both of them turn up dead. It looks as if Haruo has killed Yoko and then committed suicide - but somehow doesn't make sense.

Haruo eventually sees through all the clever devices to make Haruo's death like suicide and figures Matsuko was actually Haruo's killer, but offers to let her go if she promises him the pearl - but when he also thinks he has found all the clues to the pearl, he finds out somebody has beaten him to the punch ... Matsuki of course.

However, Haruo and Hamoko device a plan to get the ring with the black pearl from Matsuki's finger without him noticing it: She bumps into him on the Metro in disguise and seduces him to molest her (as men tend to according to this movie series), then steals the ring off his finger using her pussy ... but they manage to lose it again soon afterwards, and somehow the pearl returns to Manchuria ...


Now this is one mad film. Sure, you might find it offensive for its way it treats molesting women on a train and even rape as only minor midemeanors (if at all) - but that would mean taking the film seriously, and it's clearly not meant that way, all the sexual situations and the story as a whole are so over-the-top they are meant to be nothing but a (dirty) joke. And you know what, in its sleazy way, the film is actually pretty funny - maybe not the funniest piece of erotica you have ever seen, and maybe the humour is a bit on the moronic side, but still something to laugh about. Oh, and all the girls are pretty cute as well, which doesn't hurt of course. All this leads to just one conclusion: A great film to watch with a couple of mates and a couple of beers ...


review © by Mike Haberfelner


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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.


There's No Such Thing as Zombies
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry


directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke


now streaming at


Amazon UK





Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from