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Jason Colt: Mystery of the Sexy Diamonds

USA / Spain 2007
produced by
Tristram Starbuck, N. Eros (executive) for Fraserside Holdings, Private
directed by Juan Carlos Jesus Villalobos
starring Jeff Holmes, Tristram Starbuck, Annie Cruz, Capri Styles, Cindy Crawford, Vixen Fire, Courtney Simpson, Barry Scott, Anthony Hardwood, Nick Manning, Van Damage
written by Toby A, music by James Van Wyck

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Superagent Jason Colt (Jeff Holmes) is called back to New York because a gang of crooks led by the Snake (Vixen Fire) is planning to steal a set of ultra-rare, ultra-valuable diamonds, always uising the method of first seducing the owners of the diamonds, then killing them. The delicate thing about the case is that the baddies' first victim is Faye (Capri Stiles), Colt's girlfriend - and he is less than happy to hear that she was seduced quite easily by LaCrue (Barry Scott), the Frenchman of the gang. Colt still tries to figure out where to find her and her diamond when she is already killed by Snake's gang.

Victim number two, Lucy (Cindy Crawford), is seduced by Snake's own femme fatale Ina Hoffen (Courtney Simpson) - but Ina falls in love with her and thus refuses to rob her, which is why she is killed by Snake's gang before LaCrue works his charms on the girl with more success ... and ultimately, Lucy ends up robbed and dead as well.

Victim number three is April (Annie Cruz), on whom LaCrue actually double teams with another guy (Nick Manning), especially since she seems to be insatiable. What they don't know though is that she is actually Jason Colt's informer, and when he realizes things get tough on her end of the bargain, he rushes to the rescue - but is intercepted by the Kid (Tristram Starbuck), the most violent of the gang, who tortures him just long enough for April to be killed and robbed as well.

But once April is dead, tensions within the gang start to show, and when Jason Colt has freed himself from the grip of the Kid, it is easy for him to track all the gangmembers down and take them out one by one ...

 

A blend of action flick and hardcore porn that definitely has a nice look to it: The camerawork is excellent, the pacing is steady (without the fuckscenes bringing the movie to a grinding halt every few minutes), and the action is adequate. Furthermore of course, the girls are all really hot and their scenes don't leave a lot to be desired.

And yet, Jason Colt is far from a good movie: The main problem is, it's actually pretty badly written, inasmuch as its basic crime plot (the theft of three diamonds) doesn't create too much interest in itself, much of the screentime is spent setting the story to come up rather than telling the actual story, and the film's titular character actually spends most of the time driving around Manhattan in his car for no apparent reason rather than participating in the plot.

That all said, there is still plenty to look at in Jason Colt, and the sex is good, it's just not a good film as a whole.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

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Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
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love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
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a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
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to the weirdly romantic,
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Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
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Out now from
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