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Kinky Kong

USA 2006
produced by
Michael Raso (= Michael Beckerman), Jeffrey Faoro (executive), Michael A. Weiss (executive) for ei Independent Cinema (Seduction)
directed by John Bacchus
starring Sabrina Faire, John P. Fedele, Darian Caine, A.J. Khan, Jackie Stevens, Lora Renee, Dan Schwab, Duane Polcou, Alexia Moore, Zachary Winston Snygg (= John Bacchus)
written by John Bacchus, music by Pink Delicates, special effects by Brett Piper

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Available on DVD !

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The story might be familiar from King Kong:

(Porn-)Film director Seymour Ass (John P.Fedele) desperately needs a hit and a leading lady, so he fetches lovely Fanny Sparrow (Sabrina Faire), whom he catches stealing a dildo, off the street and takes her to Bone Island on the yacht of skipper Jack (Duane Polcou).

Why deos he do that ?

Because on Bone Island there is supposed to be a giant gorilla, Kinky Kong (Dan Schwab), who would be perfect in Ass's latest masterpiece. Of course, the gorilla (in a diaper) is really there and turns out to be a horny bastard in diapers, who soon enough rips Fanny's bra off. And then there's also a tribe of natives, whose leader (A.J.Khan) soon becomes very friendly with Fanny, and the customary dinosaur, which Kong has no problems wrestling down ... when dear dino blocks Kong's view on Fanny and A.J. making out. And then skipper Jack falls in love with Kong and realizes he's gay ... but somehow, the big ape is finally overcome thanks to Seymour's strong farting shipped to New York, where he is chained up and put on display as a backdrop to three lesbians making out. But when he sees the girls, he gets a hard-on and breaks his chains ... and wouldn't you know it, the ape goes on aq rampage through New York, until he finally finds someone his own size - Lady Liberty - and humps her. I guess it was the beast who did beauty or something.


Cheaply produced lesbian spoofs of big Hollywood films were always director John Bacchus' forte, and with films like Erotic Witch Project, Gladiator Eroticus or Play-Mate of the Apes, he at least occasionally delivered parodies that were better than the originals (and sex-flicks where the comedy was better than the sex).

Unfortunately, Kinky Kong is one of his lesser films as it lacks the inventiveness of his best movies and instead relies too much on fart-jokes and a consciously bad and silly ape-suit. And Darian Caine and A.J.Khan, who are something like the Laurel and Hardy of erotica, have hardly any scenes together (and I mean acting scenes, not sex-scenes), while lead actress Sabrina Faire, while lovely to look at, lacks the comic talent to pull off her role. John P.Fedele and Duane Polcou on the other hand give great ham performances that make up for some of the movie's shortcomings.

Word of warning though: Don't watch the R-rated version where all the sex-scenes are replaced by dull, lazily shot and unrevealing strip routines ... what were they thinking ?


review © by Mike Haberfelner


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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from




On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide


A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD