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Mars Needs Women

USA 1967
produced by
Larry Buchanan for Azalea Pictures/AIP
directed by Larry Buchanan
starring Tommy Kirk, Yvonne Craig, Warren Hammack, Tony Huston, Larry Tanner, Cal Duggan, Pat Delaney, Sherry Roberts, Donna Lindberg, Bubbles Cash, Byron Lord, Roger Ready, Barnett Shaw, Neil Fletcher, Chet Davis, Ron Scott, George Edgley, Dick Simpson, Don Campbell, Bob Hazlett, Ann Palmer, Gordon Bulow, Patrick Cramshaw, David England
written by Larry Buchanan, music by Ronald Stein

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Available on DVD!

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The title says it all: Mars needs women, and so a quintet of Martians (Tommy Kirk, Warren Hammack, Ton Huston, Larry Tanner, Cal Duggan) have come to earth to abduct some (five to be exact), while the army, who knows about the Martians' plans, desperately tries to stop them.

Four of the five women the Martians plan to bring home with them are easily found and abducted, it's a stripper (Bubbles Cash), a stewardess (Donna Lindberg), a homecoming queen (Sherry Roberts) and a painter (Pat Delaney), but Fellow #1 (Tommy Kirk), the leader of the Martians, has set himself a slightly more difficult task: Doctor Bolen (Yvonne Craig), member of the army's anti-Martian panel. Soon, he has charmed Dr Bolen and they are going out, however, he refuses to use Martian hypnotism on her to get it over with, instead really falls in love with her (and she with him). Then though he learns the army has finally found out where the Martians are hiding out and plan to raid the place, so he, accompanied by Doc Bolenm, rushes back to his fellow Martians to tell them to abort the mission ... and ultimately, the Martians go back to their planet without women, but Fellow #1 has found out what true love is, and he has left Doc Bolen behind in tears ...

 

First and foremost, no trash-sci-fi fan can deny the fact that Mars Needs Women is probably one of the greatest titles in sci-fi history.

That said though, the film that's hiding behind the title is nothing short of pathetic, and I don't mean pathetic in a good way. The film is just too darn boring, it's totally free of suspense, shocks, action or excitement, and it doesn't even work properly as a romance. Actually it seems director Larry Buchanan wasn't interested in screenwriter Buchanan's script at all but just put the camera pretty much anywhere and let the actors do their lines (which would also explain some horrible performances). And after that was done he padded the film out with some unnecessary stock footage from the Air Force and of a football game to get it to proper running time. To top it all off, the few effects showing the Martians' UFO flying are godawful and the Martians' outfits are nothing short of ridiculous ...

This all could/would have been forgivable, but what's worst about the film: It's taking itself dead-serious ... I mean please !!!

So despite the great, persuasive title, DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM !!!

 

By the way, this film is frequently quoted as being a (semi-)remake of 1964's Pajama Party, a beach party film starring Annette Funicello, but apart from that film too being a sci-fi-romance with Tommy Kirk as an alien, the similarities are very limited. Don't believe everything they write !

 

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!