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Masters of Horror - Chocolate

episode 1.5

USA 2005
produced by
Stephen R. Brown (executive), Morris Berger (executive), John W.Hyde (executive), Mick Garris (executive), Keith Addis (executive), Andrew Deane (executive) for IDT Entertainment, Nice Guy Productions, Industry Entertainment/Showtime
directed by Mick Garris
starring Henry Thomas, Lucie Laurier, Stacy Grant, Leah Graham, Matt Frewer, Jake D. Smith, Michael Curtola, Katharine Horsman, Paul Wu, Ali Staseson, Peter Bryant, Ken Dresen
written by Mick Garris, music by Nicholas Pike

TV-series
Masters of Horror

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Out of nowhere, Jamie (Henry Thomas) starts having the feeling he occasionally in another body, meaning he loses grip with his own reality but sees, hears, tastes and feels everything the other person sees, hears, tastes and feels. Eventually he finds out he is in a woman's body (he finds out when he is her while she gets a good shagging). Naturally this ruins his life, especially since these weird experiences can attack Jamie at any time, like when he's driving a car or having sex or is supposed to spend quality time with his son (of course, he's divorced and the son lives with his mother, hey, this is US-TV).

But the question remains, how does Jamie take it ?

(Well, this question does not actually remain, but the film poses it anyways.)

Why, he of course falls in love with the woman (big WHAT ?!?), even after he witnesses her slach her lover (what what what ?!?), and goes to quite some length to find her. Finally, he tracks her down in Canada and finds out her name is Catherine (and is played by Lucie Laurier), but considering he has spent quite some time in her body and is supposed to be knowing her, he makes a mess of chatting her up. Ultimately though, he manages to invite her to dinner and tells her his story ... and ultimately she invites him back to her home - and threatens him with a gun, thinking he is a police spy traing to get a confession out of her. However, he manages to take the gun from her, and when she threatens him with a knife, he has to shoot her - exactly in the moment when he enters her body once again, and feels what it is to die ...

 

Oh boy, what a badly written story, made all the worse by the fact that it is taken seriosly ... I mean come on, this is bullshit, period, at least add a little humour.

Of course, that director Mick Garris (directing his own screenplay here) is anything but a master of horror, as the series title would suggest, but rather a mediocre director of TV-movies does not help one bit, the whole episode totally lacks atmosphere, scares and suspense - actually the only reason that Mick Garris was admitted to a series called Masters of Horrors was because he was the series' creator and one of its co-producers. Probably the worst episode of the generally rather disappointing series.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!