Daniel (Pascal Persiano) has just bought a lost composition by Paganini from Mr Pickett (Donald Pleasence) - who will later turn out to be Satan himself -, and now wants to use it in the next song of Kate's (Jasmine Maimione) rockband ... and everybody seems to be so ecstatic about it that they want to shoot a videoclip with a horror-theme in a certified horror-house owned by Sylvia (Daria Nicolodi) to go with the song. They even hire Mark Singer (Pietro Genuardi), a genuine horror director, to direct the whole thing. But once they are in the horrorhouse, things go wrong, like crewmembers and Kate's bandmates being bumped off, the horror sets turning into real horror and the like ... and before you know it, everybody is on the run from an assailant who could be the reincarnation of Paganini or Satan himself or something, and ultimately, only Kate makes it out of the house alive ... to meet Sylvia (who has previously been killed) and Mr Pickett, who welcome her to her own little hell. Kate argues that she can't be in hell though since she hasn't died ... but it turns out that the only way to escape this, her personal hell, would have been to play the Paganini composition in reverse, which she hasn't ... so Mr Pickett stabs her in cold blood on the spot, so she cannot escape.

Few people know it nowadays, but once upon a time (circa the early to mid-1970's), Luigi Cozzi emerged as an extremely promising genre director ... this however is his last film, made in 1989, and it's nothing but an uninspired conglomeration of horror clich�s held together by a silly story and made on a way too low budget. A cast of underachieving actors doesn't help either, nor does its reliance on 1980's fashion and a set of atrocious hairdos. to be fair, there are still some moody shots of Venice where Cozzi's talent as a filmmaker still shines through, but overall, this is just your typical piece of notoriously bad Italian horror cinema from the late 1980's that's worth neither your time nor money.

review � by Mike Haberfelner

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

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Robots and rats,
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