Deep space, aboard spaceship Red Dwarf, a few million years in our future: After-death hologram Rimmer (Chris Barrie) gets way too excited about some pod the ship's computer Holly (Norman Lovett) has picked up floating through space. He soon becomes so self-absorbed in his conviction that it is of alien origin that he totally fails to realize it's one of Red Dwarf's own garbage pods (& Holly doesn't tell him because "it's a laugh").

Meanwhile the last human Lister (Craig Charles) gets his hands on the bible of catkind - cats that have evolved to humanoid form due to radiation exclusively on Red Dwarf - & realizes that he (because he smuggled his pet cat aboard the ship 3 million years ago) is what the cats consider God. But in the last 3 million years, the cats have fought holy wars & left the Red Dwarf in arks following his laundry sheets they thought to be starmaps (& crashed into meteors pretty soon) & now the only cats aboard are Cat (Danny John-Jules), & a cat priest (Noel Coleman) Lister has found in one of the cargo decks ... but the priest has lost his faith, & now Lister - after all the wrong the cats have done to each other during the last few million years - sees a chance to redeem himself & finds a way to give the priest his faith back ... just before the priest dies ...

A rather ambiguous episode: While the scenes of Lister giving the cat priest his faith back are cheesy at best (& not the good kind of cheesy), the scenes of Rimmer getting all excited about the garbage pod with nobody telling him what he is getting all excited about are genuine fun (& could/should have been milked way more) ... & the Talky Toaster (John Lenahan) with an identity crisis is just priceless.

review � by Mike Haberfelner

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

now streaming at

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Vimeo

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
is all of that.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to -
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

Out now from
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