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Chikan Densha: Gokuhi Honban

Sexy Timetrip Ninjas
Molester Train: Ninja Time Slip / Molester Train 27

Japan 1984
produced by
Ryu Inou (executive) for Shintoho
directed by Yojiro Takita
starring Arisa Shindo, Yuka Takemura, Yuka Aoki, Yutaka Ikejima, Bunmei Tobayama, Taro Araki, Takanobu Eguchi, Keita Gomi, Makoto Kouenji, Yukijiro Hotaru, Naomi Motohashi
written by Isao Takagi

Molester Train

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Japan 1615: It's the Sanada clan vs the Tokugawa clan, fighting over Ozawa castle, which Lord Sanada still holds, but not for long. So he orders his bravest man, ninja Sasuke, to find the country's biggest treasure ... for which he only has one half of the treasure map, and unfortunately the other half is held by the Kirigakure clan, and that clan's supreme ninja, lovely Kagore, is Sasuke's biggest enemy. During their fight, the two of them get into an earthquake that throws them forward in time, right into 1984.

Sasuke finds himself torn out of time and thrown onto a crowded train, something that didn't even exist in his time ... but he is quick to adapt to local customs (local customs at least to certain adult movies) and he quickly fondles the loveliest girl on the train, Tsuta, to orgasm. Tsuta falls in love with him, gives him abode, and slowly comes to the realization that he might really be from another era. Thus he helps him in his treasure hunt.

Kagore meanwhile finds abode in a whorehouse where she becomes the most popular prostitute in a manner of two days - but when she kills a yakuza for torturing one of the other girls, she finds herself on the run. She takes a train where she is fondled to orgasm by an actors' agent called Kirigakure, who is actually a descendant of the Kirigakure clan and who has in his possession the other part of the treasure map that Sasuke is currently looking for. Kirigakure makes Kagore a star, but then she needs to perform on a TV show with another girl ... and thus, Kirigakure takes the next train, fondles a girl to orgasm, then offers her the job to go on a show with Sasuke - and wouldn't you know it, that girl is Tsuta.

When Kagore and Sasuke run into each other again thanks to Tsuta, they immediately start their old feud once more ... but soon have to realize that while they are valiant fighters, they are worth shit when it comes to treasure hunting, and thus they both have to trust Tsuta to decipher their treasure map ... and eventually, they find Japan's biggest treasure, which they then celebrate in the only way they know - on a train, fondling each other to orgasm of course. Then an earthquake takes the three of them and their treasure back to 1615, and they are so busy fondling each other they don't even notice that their treasure falls right into the hands of Lord Tokugawa ...


This is not a film to be taken seriously, in fact it's silly and almost moronic on almost every level: The story is hardly really thought through, the timetravel subplot fails to ever really come together, and the film's attitude towards groping on public trains - well ... but all that is actually part of the film's potential, it's pure nonsense, free of all pretense, and it's one big excuse to show pretty girls in various stages of undress being fondled. This all makes Sexy Timetrip Ninjas no masterpiece of course, it's more of a party film that ought to be watched with mates and beer, and even in this category there are far better films around. But it's worth quite a few chuckles at least, and that then is a good thing, right?


review © by Mike Haberfelner


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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.


There's No Such Thing as Zombies
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry


directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke


now streaming at


Amazon UK





Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from