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Splatter Beach

USA 2007
produced by
Michael Raso (= Michael Beckerman) for Alternative Cinema (Camp Motion Pictures), Polonia Brothers
directed by Mark Polonia, John Polonia
starring Erin Brown (= Misty Mundae), Erika Smith, Dave Fife, Brice Kennedy, Ken Van Sant, Leslie Culton, Cristina Turcan, Alison Whitney, Marty Manglaze, John P. Fedele, Kevin Neblung, Steve Savege, Specterini, John Polonia
written by John Polonia, music by Jon McBride, Pink Delicates, Trigger Finger, Jon Greathouse, cinematography by Brett Piper

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Rodney (Brice Kennedy), his girlfriend Tonya (Erika Smith) and nerdy Rupert (Dave Fife) make a trip to the beach, the first two to make out, the nerd to do some research on a sea monster (Marty Manglaze) ... with the result that Rodney and Tonya soon become seamonster food and Rupert teams up with local weird girl Tess (Erin Brown) to warn everyone else on the beach - mainly partying teenagers of course - of the monster ... but their warnings are in vain and soon the entire partying crowd falls victim to the monster and its friends, who are of course also sea monsters.

Eventually though, Rupert and Tess team up with bodybuilder Duke (Ken Van Sant), who never seems to fully grasp the situation, but who in the end saves the day gunning down the monsters.

 

A splatter comedy combining the cheap charms of 1980's B-horror with 1950's monster movies and 1960's beach party movies - but all that said, the film has two main problems: Firstly the script sucks inasmuch as it never tries to really tell its story in an even remotely compelling way, and secondly, the film actually isn't all that funny. Add to that the lack of any reasonable budget the filmmakers didn't even try to hide and you are left with rather little. All that said though, the film isn't quite as bad as I make it appear to be, at least it doesn't take itself in the least seriously, and every now and again, it's actually pretty amusing even - one just wishes the filmmakers would have put a bit more effort into it.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
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WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
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written by
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out now on DVD