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TITanic 2000
Scary Sexy Disaster Movie / Vampire of the TITanic / Titanic 2000: A Vampire's Lust is Unsinkable

USA 1999
produced by
Michael Beckerman (= Michael Raso), John P.Fedele for ei Independent Cinema (Seduction)
directed by John P.Fedele
starring Tammy Parks, Tina Krause, Elizabeth Cintron, David Fine, Bob MacKay, Roxanne Michaels (= Jasi Cotton Lanier), Suzanne Lenore, Michael R.Thomas, Jacob Borgert, Zachary Winston Snygg (= John Bacchus), Jeffrey Faoro, Joseph Prussak, Peter O'Hara, Pete Jacelone, William Hellfire, Joey Smack, Misty Mundae (= Erin Brown), Paige Turner, John Link, John P.Fedele, Jon Fidelli, Mickey Ovum, Michael Raso, J.Feefifofumdedi, Zippy, Fred Mekeel, Nathan Lanman, Kyle LaFerrera
story by Michael Raso, screenplay by Clancy Fitzsimmons (= John P.Fedele), Joe Ned, digital effects by Frank Terranova


review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Decades after the mishap with the original Titanic, a millionair (David Fine) decides to give the concept of an unsinkable ship another try with the Titanic 2000 - but to make the whole thing a bit more entertaining, he also decides to cut a few corners here and there.

Shari (Tina Krause) is one of the passengers on the Titanic 2000's maiden voyage, accompanying her rockstar boyfriend Glitter Bolan (John P.Fedele), but grows more and more desperate the longer the trip lasts because Glitter doesn't show the slightest interest in her, and way too much interest in boozing. So eventually she lets an artist (John Bacchus) talk her into posing naked for him ... and it's too late she notices he just wants to take advantage of her.

Then Shari makes the acquaintance of Vladiminia (Tammy Parks), a woman whose feelings towards her are clearly more than only amical ... but Shari gets freaked out when Vladiminia shows her (in a lesbian sex scene with Roxanne Michaels) that she is actually a vampire from Staten Island. Shari runs away but has nowhere to go to. Vladiminia meanwhile is attacked by a shipmate (John Link) who doubles as vampire hunter, but when he tries to stake her, he only punctures the hull of the ship, which then slowly fills with water.

Vladiminia knows she must save Shari because she wants to spend eternity with her, and once she has gotten her off the ship, it's easy to persuade her to be vampirized - after all, the Titanic 2000 did not come equipped with lifeboats, and if you're not one of the undead chances are high you'll die before too long ...


Lots of Seduction-regulars show up in small roles in this one, including Misty Mundae, William Hellfire and Joey Smack making up the ship's band, with Hellfire also playing the captain's transvestite lover, both the captain and one of Vladimina's servants is played by Michael R.Thomas, and Jeffrey Faoro plays the guy who is constantly warning everybody (in vain) that the ship is going to sink ...


A totally silly but at the same time highly enjoyable film. Basically, the concept alone - to make a parody of James Cameron's Titanic garnered with vampires and a bit of lesbian sex - sounds great, but also prone to failure, but the film is really carried by a devil-may-care stupid plot, some genuinely funny dialogue, and an ensemble cast (especially the likes of Tina Krause, John P.Fedele, John Bacchus, John Link, Michael R.Thomas) with a knack for comedy, plus some laughably cheap special effects (after all, how are you going to top the effects of Cameron's Titanic on a shoestring anyways?).

The result is very probably not the best film you've ever seen, but lots of fun anyways, and an almost-perfect party movie.


review © by Mike Haberfelner


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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.


There's No Such Thing as Zombies
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry


directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke


now streaming at


Amazon UK





Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from