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Vous Pigez?

Diamond Machine
Il Maggiorato Fisico - Donne, Danni Diamanti / Rote Lippen - Blaue Bohnen / Dämchen, Diebe, Diamanten

France / Italy 1955
produced by
Jacques Mage for Dismage, Transalpina
directed by Pierre Chevalier
starring Eddie Constantine, Maria Frau, François Perrot, René-Jean Chauffard, Roger Hanin, René Clermont, Furio Meniconi, Luisa Rivelli, Nadine Tallier, Irène Tunc, Florence Landon, Yorick Royan, René Blancard, Enrico Spada, Gérard Tamize
screenplay by Victor Trivas, Jacques Doniol-Valcroze, dialogue by Louis Martin, Claude Desailly, based on the novel by Peter Cheyney, music by Jean Marion

Lemmy Caution

review by
Mike Haberfelner

FBI agent Lemmy Caution (Eddie Constantine) makes a trip to Italy to pay a visit to his friend professor Romano (René Clermont), a man who's presently in the crosshairs of gangster boss Istria (Roger Hanin), because he has recently invented a machine that can artificially create diamonds. So Istria has the blueprints for the machine stolen, but they prove to be so inelligigle that he tasks his right-hand man Tony (Francois Perrot) to kidnap Romano himself. During that kidnapping, Lemmy's ambushed and knocked out, but thanks to a little orphan girl, Marina (Florence Landon), whom he soon adopts, he picks up the baddies' trail to a nightclub, where he gets into an altercation with Tony but gets quite friendly with his moll Fernanda (Maria Frau), and soon Tony's men try to get rid of him - but fail. Now Tony's game is, he wants a bigger share of the diamond machine than Istria has promised him, and since he has the professor while Istria has the blueprints, he has Fernanda negotiate with Istria, claiming to be a third party - but Istria will have none of this, which is why Tony shoots him dead. Lemmy tries to play catch-up with Tony and the professor, but he seems to always be too late, and eventually even fakes his own death to lure Tony out - and ultimately learns the Tony's planning to leave the country on a boat in the morning, the professor and Fernanda in tow of course, and even Istria's widow (Yorick Royan). Not being able to get the Coast Guard to stop the ship on such short notice, Lemmy hires a few bikini girls and has them party with the crew while Eddie takes care of the bad guys ...

 

Alphaville notwithstanding, which wasn't even made until 10 years after this one, one doesn't actually go into a Lemmy Caution movie expecting a cinematic masterpiece - which Diamond Machine sure isn't. What it is though is a very likeable, somewhat simplistic romp of cops and robbers, with Eddie Constantine giving his usual self-ironic yet charming performance, faced with the usual array of pretty ladies all falling for his charm, and the usual line-up of baddies whom he usually bests in a few fistfights, with Eddie going through his usual chases, hand-on-hand combats and the occasional shoot-out. It's pretty much what one has come to expect from the series - but in a good way.

 

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review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
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special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

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Robots and rats,
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