Ok, so the world is suffering from some kind of virus which is transported by mosquitos, and the lab of Doc Aaron Michaels (Jay Benedict) - your typical greedy asshole who typically does not survive the first few minutes of the film - is developing a cure ... but as Doc Michaels is such a greedy bastard, he wants to prematurely test his new serum on humans, more specifically a death row convict, Ray Erikson (Austin Jordon). Thing is, ray would much rather make an escape, but his attempt at that goes a tad wrong when he locks himself into Doc Michaels' lab with scientist Jennifer (Musetta Vander) - your typical good girl, who really does all the work for Doc Michaels and would have never allowed experiments on humans at this stage - and causes the lab's own reactor to explode.

The explosion doesn't kill Henrikson though, and somehow he gets away through the sewers ... but before long he turns into a giant mosquito, or, as he is later called in the film, Mansquito. Jennifer was not quite as exposed to the blast as Henrikson/Mansquito was, so at first she seems totally alright - but slowly she notices changes too, and figures she will turn into a giant mosquito (Womansquito ?) as well ...

Soon, dead bodies turn up all over town, and the investigating cop, Randall (Corin Nemec) - incidently the man who put Henrikson on death row and Jennifer's boyfriend - not knowing yet about Mansquito, is left baffled. For some reason though he links the murders - among them, you guessed it, Doc Michaels - to Henrikson, even though the modus operandi of the killer suggests a large, well, mosquito.

Eventually, Randall and co manage to track down whom they believe to be still Henrikson to the sewage system - where Randall sees eye to eye with Mansquito for the first time, and only narrowly escapes. Mansquito though has soon laid his eyes on Jennifer, who only slowly changes into a mosquito and who fights it too ... but that doesn't stop Mansquito, who even takes out an entire SWAT team guarding the hospital she's in just to get to her ... and of all the cops and SWAT teamsters he kills, it seems only cop Randall knows how to face Mansquito, because he goes out of every fight unscathed. But in the finale it's not him who disposes of Mansquito but Jennifer, who manages to electrocute Mansquito, even if it costs her own life ...

I can't help it, the title is nothing short of brilliant: Mansquito - every self-respecting trashfan like me would want a film with a name like this in his collection.

The movie that hides behind this beautiful title however is another matter altogether, a by-the-numbers monster film that does waste as little time with telling an original story as it does with creating a proper atmosphere, instead it delivers exactly the tired gore and action scenes you would expect from a movie like this without even trying a shot at inventiveness. On the plus side, the monster was not created on a computer but is still an old-fashioned and quite goodlooking monstersuit, with only one problem: It's kept in the spotlight for far too long, and no matter how good the suit, if you get too good a look at it, you just will know it's all rubber. Corin Nemec, too, is kept in the spotlight for too long, and let's face it, he's not a very good actor.

In all, rather a waste of time ... but still, Mansquito - must have been a genius who made up that title.

review � by Mike Haberfelner

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

now streaming at

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
is all of that.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to -
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

Out now from
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