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Absolute Vow

USA 2017
produced by
Jared Masters (executive), Kansas Bowling (associate), Reese Lester (associate), Seth Metoyer (associate), Geo Sargent (associate) for Frolic Pictures
directed by Jared Masters
starring Parker Love Bowling, Kansas Bowling, Rodney Bingenheimer, Lloyd Kaufman, Aki Aleong, Meg Dick, Dawna Lee Heising, Kalvin Madsen, Daphne Fischer, Dannah Hooper, Marley Uribe, Sierra Renfro, Troy Alexander, Aaron Berjohn, Dallas Chandler, Art Roberts, Thomas Ronca, Taylor Victoria, Alfredo Trueba, Laura Wight, Valiera Feldman, Princess Frank, Joan Apperson, Ned Casual, Walter Hochbrueckner, Wendy Pauline McKinney, Peter Rodkey, Vera R. Taylor
written by Jared Masters, music by Federico Ferrandina, Rob Meijer, Lionel Schmitt

Jesus Christ

review by
Mike Haberfelner

1,000 BC: Jephthah (Art Roberts) promised to sacrifice his virgin daughter (Parker Love Bowling) to God if God helps him usurp some neighbouring tribes - which God does. And the girl, who's pious and chaste as can be, is happy to submit to his father's wish, but asks to be granted to wander the mountains for 60 days with her best friends (Kansas Bowling, Meg Dick, Daphne Fisher, Dannah Hooper, Marley Uribe, Sierra Renfro) to do some proper pre-sacrificial mourning. But this retreat into the mountains is not as frictionless as our heroine might have wished, as her friends don't want her to die, think her unconditional faith is foolish, try to make her find happiness (even in carnal sin) before her untimely death, and ultimately leave her behind when her piousness becomes too overbearing. Also, our virgin meets many a character that make her question her path, including a demon (Aaron Berjohn), an angel (Dawna Lee Heising), a prophet (Aki Aleong), a magician (Lloyd Kaufman), even Christ the Redeemer (Troy Alexander) for 10 centuries in her future, and, more profanely, a shepherd (Kalvin Madsen) she kind of falls in love with (and vice versa). But will any of these encounters bring this story to a happier ending than was predestined?

 

This movie is very probably the most unusual entry into the rather unusual filmography of exploitation filmmaker Jared Masters, as it is an actual bible adaptation (Judges, 11:29-39), recounting, and pardon me for saying so, one of the more cruel bible stories that doesn't shed too favourable a light on God himself. And Masters isn't one to sugar-coat the story at all, instead he gives his own interpretation of it, which despite using many a page of your typical exploitation filmmaker's book (yep, there's sex and violence in this film ... just like in the bible in fact), does come across as intelligent, even thoughtful.

From a stylistical point of view, it certainly shows that this movie was made on a low budget, as it was shot almost 100% outdoors with no actual "sets", just what mother nature provides, and using almost exclusively natural light ... but that's part of the film's charm, as in refusing all the pomp that usually comes with bible adaptations, one gets a more intimate insight into the story at hand. Weirdly enough, this also puts Absolute Vow in line with low budget bible adaptations from decades ago made mostly by local churches for local distribution ... which adds sort of an extra charm to things.

Definitely an unusual movie, but definitely worth watching, especially if one's not into bible adaptations as such.

 

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review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!