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Alien vs Predator
AVP

USA / Canada / Germany / Czech Republic / UK 2004
produced by
Gordon Carroll, David Giler, Walter Hill, John Davis, Wyck Godfrey (executive), Thomas M.Hammel (executive), Mike Richardson (executive) for Brandywine, 20th Century Fox, Impact Pictures, Charenton Producitons, Inside Track, Zweite Babelsberg Film GmbH
directed by Paul W.S. Anderson
starring Sanaa Lathan, Raoul Bova, Lance Henriksen, Ewen Bremnder, Colin Salmon, Tommy Flanagan, Joseph Rye, Agathe De La Boulaye, Carsten Norgaard, Sam Troughton, Petr Jákl, Pavel Bezdek, Kieran Bew, Carsten Voigt, Jan Pavel Filipensky, Adrian Bouchet, Andy Lucas, Liz May Brice, Glenn Conroy, Eoin McCarthy, Karima Adebibe, Tom Woodruff jr, Ian Whyte
story by Dan O'Bannon, Ronald Shusett, Paul W.S. Anderson, screenplay by Paul W.S. Anderson, Alien created by Dan O'Bannon, Ronald Shusett, Predator created by Jim Thomas, John Thomas, music by Harald Kloser, original Alien-design by H.R.Giger, special effects by Amalgamated Dynamics, Animated Extras, Ghost ApS, Snow Business, digital visual effects by Universal Production Partners, MPC (= Moving Picture Company), Double Negative, Cinesite, Framestore CFC

Alien, Predator

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Antarctica 2004: Deep deep down below the ice, a satellite has detected a giant pyramid that resembles the pyramids of Egypt just as well as those of South America and Cambodia. So Weyland (Lance Henriksen), a terminally ill businessman who wants to achieve something of real importance before he dies, mans an expedition to go there, made up of Alexa (Sanaa Lathan), who is easily recognizable as the final girl, and the usual cannon fodder a film like this seems to need.

Once down at the pyramid, our little expedition soon enough triggers a mechanism that leads to the awakening the aliens (yup, those pesky buggers from the Alien-series) from hibernation, and they waste little time before attacking. Meanwhile, above the ground, a spaceship full of Predators (mhm, the ones from the Predator-series) land, and they immediately slaughter all the humans they can find there before going down. At the same time, the pyramid begins to move internally, meaning hallways becoming sealed off rooms, stairs becoming ramps, and trapdoors opening and closing rather at will. Amidst all this, Alexa and archeologist Sebastian (Raoul Bova) are locked into a room where they learn about the history of the pyramid. It seems thousands of years ago, the Predators came to earth, taught the humans how to build and had themselves worshipped as gods - but this did not come without a price, because the Predators chose earth as their hunting ground and the aliens as their favourite prey - until one day the aliens took over the pyramid and all the Predators could do was to freeze it solid for all eternity. But as a rite of passage, young Predators come back to earth every 100 years to hunt aliens in Antarctica.

Soon after Alexa and Sebastian have found this out, they are separated and Sebastian is taken away by the aliens, while Alexa figures it's her best bet to team up with the Predators - or rather the last of the Predators still alive as it turns out -, fight the aliens and prevent them from coming to the surface. After quite a bit of battling and after Alexa had to shoot Sebastian, who was already carrrying an alien inside him, Alexa and the Predator blow up the pyramid and reach the surface only to have to face the big alien mother, their final adversary - and saving Alexa, the alien loses his life.

Of course, the alien mother is killed in the end, and the Predators, who come to pick up their hunting party, accept Alexa as their equal.

 

When Alien vs Predator came out in 2004, it had been in planning for more than 10 years, plus Dark Horse Comics had been releasing a comic series based on the concept for more than a decade as well, and quite successfully too - and some of the comics were even quite good (while other, of course, were mere trash).

As a film, Alien vs Predator hardly justifies the wait, it's badly written trash science fiction based on the narrative structure of a video game more than anything else, it's simply one (boringly executed) action setpiece after teh next, there is no atmosphere whatsoever in this film, there is no suspense, no tension. It seems that Paul W.S.Anderson could not even be bothered with that, instead of making this one a piece of horror it should/could have been, it's just another action spectacle, trying to make up in (admittedly quite good) special effects what it lacks on any other level ... need I even mention that the film contains merely one-dimensional characters and no character development at all ? Need I mention that the whole scientific background is merely esoteric mumbo jumbo ? I think not, but I did it anyway, just for the record.

Complete waste of time.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!

 

 

 

On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD