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Battle of the Colosal Women

USA 2003
produced by
Sub Rosa Studios (Sub Rosa Blue)
directed by Marc Elsworth
starring Rachael Krupsky, Iris, Robert Briggs

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Because fellow student Todd (Robert Briggs) fails to notice her, nerdy Suzi (Rachael Krupsky) decides to produce a potion to make her really seductive. It works, & she has sex with Todd on her lab's floor, but upon waking up is turned back nto her nerdy self again. Then seh decides she has to drink more of the potion to make it work permanently, but to her surprise it makes her grow 30 ft tall. Before toying a bit with miniature Todd she decides to go to town (in the nude of couse, since the potion did not make her cloths grow) to wreak some havoc. Enter Todd's girlfriend Liluth, who won't let Suzi have all the fun for herself & drinks the rest of the potion to grow equally tall & equally nude. With Todd in hand she goes after Suzi to wrestle her, but halfway through the fight, the girls get attracted to one another & instead of battling they both drop Todd (literally) & make out ...

 

This movie - it would seem - is intended to be an erotic spoof on 50's giant human movies like (need I say it ?) The Amazing Colossal Man, War of the Colossal Beast or Attack of the 50 ft Woman but falls several feet short of its intentions. Most of all, the humour does not succeed in taking off, rarely - if ever - elevating the movie above dire efforts of your routine weak highschool-comedy. Secondly the effects are just plain weak, way below the efforts made back in the 50's - now I know this was an incredibly cheap production, & I don't expect (or even want) elaborate computer effects, but in a stroy of giant humans, you should at least be treated to some miniature effects (besides the characters holding a very obvious Matell doll that's supposed to be Todd). Thirdly, the pacing is just not there - what, for example, is the reason for showing Suzi mix the potion for a whole 3 minutes, with nothing happening but her pouring liquids from one container into the other, when the movie is a mere 35 minutes long. & finally, the erotic scenes are just not that good. Not that they are bad or anything, but little use is made of the fact that the girls are 30 ft tall, & they touch each other only in a very innocent way.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!

 

 

 

On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD