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Before I Die...

USA 2003
produced by
Phil Herman for Falcon Video, Sharkey Video, Joel D. Wynkoop Productions
directed by Joel D. Wynkoop (segment Time for Dessert), Dawn Murphy, Dave Castiglione (segment Last Resort), Phil Herman (segment Someone is Sleeping in My Bed)
starring framing story: Phil Herman, Time for Dessert: M. Catherine Holseybrook, Gusto Perez, Kevin Bangos, Chris Hurban, Joel D.Wynkoop, Last Resort: Dawn Murphy, David Lee, Someone is Sleeping in My Bed: Nancy Feliciano, Brock Peters
written by Joel D. Wynkoop (segment Time for Dessert), Dawn Murphy, Dave Castiglione (segment Last Resort), Phil Herman (segment Someone is Sleeping in My Bed)

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Available on DVD !

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Always make sure of DVD-compatibility !!!

A writer (Phil Herman) is hard-pressed to meet a deadline, but the ideas only come sporadically. Finally though, he is able to put his first story to paper ... well, actually to hammer it into his computer:

Time for Dessert: Harvey has the hots for a woman (M.Catherine Holseybrook) who's a regular maneater, means she picks up men as a pastime, and it seems she picks up everybody but Harvey. Harvey even starts stalking her, but this only adds to his torment, because he catches her with a different man everytime. Finally, when he has already given up, she asks him to accompany her to her room ... and everything seems great. Harvey doesn't even get suspicious when he sees the covered mirrors in her room, as long as he will have sex with her everything's alright ... but during intercourse, one mirror's cover comes off and Harvey - too late - sees the real her, a (literally) man-eating giant insect ...

The second story comes hot on the heels of the first one: Last Resort: Derek (David Lee) books a moneymoon for him and his wife (Dawn Murphy) somewhere in a lonely resort in the mountains. But the resort seems a bit too lonely, there is virtually nobody there but the two of them, not even personnel. Since they are newly-weds though, they at first enjoy the loneliness, especially since everything is in perfect working order. But eventually, both Derek and his wife have visions of death and are attacked by something they seem to be unable to grasp ... and eventually, they cut short their honeymoon.

When Derek later returns to the travel agency to demand his money back, the agent (Dawn Murphy again) tells him there has been a mistake, and the place they were going to was built in 1918 but never actually opened, and the owners have killed each other back then. Finally, the travel agent shows Derek a picture of the owners - a couple bearing the perfect likeness of Derek and his wife.

Our writer still sits at his computer waiting for inspiration when his wife (Nancy Feliciano) asks him to come to bed, and when he answers he's still writing, she just asks him to not kill her off again - as in, in one of his stories ... which inspires the writer to Someone is Sleeping in My Bed: A psychopath (Brock Richards) is breaking into Kelly's (Nancy Feliciano again) appartment while she's out, and when she returns home, she has no idea that anybody's there, and thus walks about her place half-naked to naked until the psychopath strikes ...

Finally, the work is done and the writer is happy, and now he wants to join his wife in bed ... but finds her dead in the bath tub - which is when he remembers he killed her just a while ago for some inspiration.

But how will he get inspiration for more stories?

 

Cheaply made yet interesting horror anthology that balances out its budgetary and techincal shortcomings with cleverly told stories with a twist, this way also breathing new life into old horror clichés. Add to this actors who are up to their tasks and competence on parts of the directors and it's easy to forgive many of the movie's (low budget) flaws.

Not a great film maybe, but a nice genre-effort all the same.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!

 

 

 

On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD