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Being Ron Jeremy

USA 2003
produced by
Brian Berke, George Rizkallah, Peter Soby jr for Sweatchop Entertainment, Product Factory, Horny Jew Productions/Revolver Entertainment
directed by Brian Berke
starring Ron Jeremy, Mia Crowe, Brian Berke, Andy Dick, Jeff Kueppers, Mary Carey, Monique Dane, Kira Eggers, Kendra Jade, Jacklyn Lick, Teri Weigel, Gauge, Leslie Brockett, Michael Escher, Timothy Griffin
written by Rich Williams, Brian Berke, music by Steve Weisberg

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Brian Pickles (Brian Berke) is an unsuccessful stand up comedian who can't even attract a crowd (or anyone) out in the streets, and he's totally porn-obsessed - and obsessed with Mia (Mia Crowe), the clerk at his favourite pornshop. Thing is, she thinks he's a total loser (and is probably right) ... until, that is, Brian finds the gateway to pornstar Ron Jeremy's mind (through a videoboot at the pornshop actually), and as Ron Jeremy Mia can suddenly accept him as a man, even if Brian can't help but cumming prematurely.

The downsides ?

Every time Ron Jeremy farts, Brian lands in the next-door dumpster in the nude. And Ron Jeremy starts having potency problems ... but these inconveniences are easily outbalanced by the advantages that Brian, a virtual virgin, is now a pornstar and has finally succeeded in dating the woman he loves ...

Soon enough, Brian and Mia realize they can exploit the gateway to Ron Jeremy's mind, and they charge other losers five Dollars for each trip to Ron's mind - which soon enough wrecks Ron's work, since he continually ejaculates prematurely (at times before he's even naked) and has serious potence problems ... and he has to fart a lot, which doesn't rest easy with his colleagues.

Eventually, Ron finds out what's going on, and to find out what it's all about, he takes a trip to his own mind ... and finds himself being reduced to a cock in everyone else's eaes. Furiously he threatens to sue Brian - but Brian has taken precautions, he takes another trip to Ron's mind and makes him pop pills so he never farts again - and thus he thinks he can be Ron Jeremy forever.

As Ron Jeremy, Brian becomes an instant success, not only with the ladies, but he can also finally launch his career as a stand-up comedian in packed clubs (because of the celebrity bonus), Mia is going steady with him (as Ron) now, and life cannot be more beautiful ... until Ron farts, and Brian is spat out into the dumpster next to the pornshop - but he has to realize the pornshop has been closed in the meantime, so there is no way back into Ron Jeremy's mind ... and Brian is reduced to doing his comedy on the street again, only now he is accused of having stolen his jokes from Ron Jeremy. Mia in the meantime, who couldn't accept Brian no longer being in Ron, is arrested for stalking Ron Jeremy, while Ron can once again do what he does best again (and you know what that is) ...


So ok, this film's idea is shamelessly stolen from Being John Malkovich, and even the film's title (and its tagline Why be John Malkovich when you can be Ron Jeremy) does make that clear ... so don't expect the most original film you have ever seen. That said though, Being Ron Jeremy - which despite its cast is not a hardcore feature - still manages at times to be wickedly funny, mainly thanks to Ron Jeremy himself who despite his iconic status inside the industry doesn't shy away from making a complete ass of himself - but in a way that you aren't laughing at him but with him. Of course, the film is mainly based on one joke, which does run out of steam pretty soon, but then the film is short enough (no more than 40 minutes) to not outstay its welcome.

Watch it, it may not be great, but it's worth a laugh or two ...


review © by Mike Haberfelner


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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from




On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide


A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD