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Beverly Hills Vamp

USA 1989
produced by
Fred Olen Ray, Grant Austin Waldman, Caryle Waldman (executive), Henry Waldman (executive) for American Independent, Austin Enterprises
directed by Fred Olen Ray
starring Britt Ekland, Eddie Deezen, Tim Conway jr, Tom Shell, Michelle Bauer, Jillian Kesner, Debra Lamb, Jay Richardson, Brigitte Burdine, Ralph Lucas, Robert Quarry, Dawn Wildsmith, Tony Lorea, Caryle Waldman, Susan Olar, Greta Gibson, Steve Barrett, Bob Eggbert, Stephen Carter, Linda Haney, Sharon Scott, Sandy Newlands, Pat McCormick, Mary Lee Andres
written by Ernest D.Farino, music by Chuck Cirino, creative consultant: Terrill Lee Lankford

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Three guys (Eddie Deezen, Tim Conway jr, Tom Shell) come to Hollywood to become filmmakers ... but at the end of day one they already feel, well, underappreciated. So they decide to visit a brothel in Beverly Hills where they are greeted by the Madame (Britt Ekland) and three lovely ladies (Michelle Bauer, Jillian Kesner, Debra Lamb), who promise to fulfill all their wishes - which is when one of the guys, nerdy Kyle (Eddie Deezen) bails out, basically because he has a girlfriend (Brigitte Burdine).

The next day, Kyles friends are still not back, and when he returns to the brothel, he finds it a totally changed place, and nobody residing their but the ladies' butler (Ralph Lucas). In his desperation, Kyle hooks up with a movie producer, Pendleton (Jay Richardson), the uncle of one of his friends, and with the help of a priest (Robert Quarry) they find out the madame and her three girls are probably vampires, and Kyle's friends are as well, but to turn them back again, all they have to do is to kill the head vampire. So armed with stakes, crucifixes and holy water, Kyle and Pendleton enter the brothel to hunt and kill vampires ...

 

Beverly Hills Vamp is by no means a great film, it's just a silly horror comedy with plenty of excuses to show boobs, with jokes that range from almost inspired to plain moronic, and with very little actually horrific going on. To put it another way, this film will never be compared to Citizen Kane (and wasn't made to), but has a certain fun vibe to it, that despite some very bad jokes and a rather annoying Eddie Deezen in the lead somehow translates to the audience - that said, drinking a couple of beers while watching this one certainly helps.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!

 

 

 

On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD