Bikini Girls on Ice
Geoff Klein, Jeff Ross, Natalino Lattanzio for BGOI Films
directed by Geoff Klein
starring Cindel Chartrand, Danielle Doetsch, William Jarand, Suzi Lorraine, Christina Sciortino, Caroline Faille, Tarek Gader, Kerri Taylor, Ivan Peric, Sandy Greig, Michael Aaron, Pierre Lefebvre, Gigi Hébert, Christina Gentile, Michele Malone, Melissa Paulson, Matt Turner
written by Geoff Klein, Jeff Ross, music by Benjamin Beladi, Micheal Vickerage, special effects makeup by Marie Ashley Nelson
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A group of girls want to set up a bikini carwash on the beach, but their
bus breaks down at an abandoned gas station in the middle of nowhere on
the way, so they decide to set up the carwash right there - and believe it
or not, they get customers, too.
Problem is, the gas station is not
quite as abandoned as it seems on first sight, there is a killer (William
Jarand) on the prowl on the premises who ... well, he just kills people
and puts them on ice, there is no explanation given, there's no extra
layer to him.
Based on my synopsis so far, you can pretty much guess how
the rest of the film is going to unfold: The gorgeous but intellectual and
virtuous blonde (Cindel Chartrand) survives the ordeal and is allowed to
leave the place as the sole survivor, her brunette and slightly slutty but
good-natured friend (Danielle Doetsch) also makes it pretty far, as does
the honest guy who blondie falls in love with (Ivan Peric) and the head bitch
(Christina Sciortino) of the whole story to at least add some colour to
the proceedings. The rest of the cast though is just cannon fodder.
I guess this sums up the film pretty nicely.
Ah yeah, and gorgeous Suzi
Lorraine has a guest spot as the first girl being killed in the pre-credit
Ok, I admit I'm a sucker for catchy titles, and
without a doubt, Bikini Girls on Ice is one of them, as it suggests
a no budget bag of weird sleaze no less - what we get instead though is a
low budget run-of-the-mill slasher movie that pretty much lacks in all
departments, there is no good story here, no build-up of tension or
suspense, there are no memorable characters or convincing performances by
the cast, and the directorial effort is functional at best. Even the
entire female cast running around in bikinis for most of the time doesn't
really cut it.
To put it bluntly, the film is pretty boring, to say the