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Blood Countess

Czech Republic/Canada 2008
produced by
Anne Wallace for North American Pictures/
directed by Lloyd A. Simandl
starring Andrea Nemcova, Sabina Casarova (= Sabina Barne), Lena Drasova, Dana Koppová, Zuzana Presová (= Deny Moor), Dominika Jandlová, Adela Ostrodicka, Markéta Kudrejová, Elisa Masková, Lucie Vitoslavská, Nada Vinecka, Kristina Uhrinová, Jana Janeková, Lenka Krajickova, Michaela Fichtnerova, Zuzana Svubová, Michaela Dufková, P. Plcir, A. Pclam, Pavel Plch, Jirí Holec, Stanislav Vesely
written by Lloyd A. Simandl, Chris Hyde

Elizabeth Bathory

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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A day in the life of Elizabeth Bathory (Andrea Nemcova), the infamous Hungarian blood countess from the 16th/17th century: While she has lesbian sex in the bathtub, virgins are slaughtered in the room above, and their blood drips into her bathtub through a hole in the ceiling. Later, she inspects the local young females and has them all stripped. Those she likes, she takes with her, while the others are put into captivity, to be killed the next time the Countess takes a bath.

With some of her subjects, she rides through the countryside by coach, but when one girl (Adela Ostrodicka) refuses to have sex with her right then and there, she's stripped, covered in honey and tied to a tree, left at the mercy of the local bees (and who has ever heard of merciful bees?). Later the day, the Countess has more sex, takes another bath (including the customary blood shower), tortures a naked girl in her dungeon, and writes about her perverse shenanigans in her diary.


Infamous Countess Bathory's real-life exploits are of course the perfect inspiration for any number of horror films ... however, this one is less of a shocker and more of a softcore sex film, a movie that puts almost no emphasis on the Countess' cruelties but focuses on lesbian sex ... and quite an amount of it, too. So despite the film's title's emphasis on blood, expect very little of the red stuff and quite a number of bared breasts - in fact I think all of the actresses in this film at least lose their tops at one time or another.

But does this make Blood Countess a bad film?

Unfortunately yes. Now let me stress, I have nothing against softcore erotica as such, but this movie is so uninventive in finding excuses for showing boobs it's almost embarrassing, so straight-forward in its mission to cram as much nudity as possible into one film, it's almost an insult to the audience's intelligence, and so devoid of even a trace of humour it's next to sad.

Well, at least most of the girls look good naked, so it's not a total loss, but on the other hand, that's hardly enough to save the film ...


review © by Mike Haberfelner


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On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide


A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD



Stell Dir vor, Deine Lieblingsseifenoper birgt eine tiefere Wahrheit ...
... und stell Dir vor, der Penner von der U-Bahnstation hat doch recht ...
... und dann triffst Du auch noch die Frau Deiner (feuchten) Träume ...


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