- Elf 2017
Czech Republic/Canada 2008
Anne Wallace for North American Pictures/Boundheat.com
directed by Lloyd A. Simandl
starring Andrea Nemcova, Sabina Casarova (= Sabina Barne), Lena Drasova, Dana Koppová, Zuzana Presová (= Deny Moor), Dominika Jandlová, Adela Ostrodicka, Markéta Kudrejová, Elisa Masková, Lucie Vitoslavská, Nada Vinecka, Kristina Uhrinová, Jana Janeková, Lenka Krajickova, Michaela Fichtnerova, Zuzana Svubová, Michaela Dufková, P. Plcir, A. Pclam, Pavel Plch, Jirí Holec, Stanislav Vesely
written by Lloyd A. Simandl, Chris Hyde
A day in the life of Elizabeth Bathory (Andrea Nemcova), the infamous
Hungarian blood countess from the 16th/17th century: While she has lesbian
sex in the bathtub, virgins are slaughtered in the room above, and their
blood drips into her bathtub through a hole in the ceiling. Later, she
inspects the local young females and has them all stripped. Those she
likes, she takes with her, while the others are put into captivity, to be
killed the next time the Countess takes a bath.
With some of her
subjects, she rides through the countryside by coach, but when one girl (Adela
Ostrodicka) refuses to have sex with her right then and
there, she's stripped, covered in honey and tied to a tree, left at the
mercy of the local bees (and who has ever heard of merciful bees?). Later
the day, the Countess has more sex, takes another bath (including the
customary blood shower), tortures a naked girl in her dungeon, and writes
about her perverse shenanigans in her diary.
Bathory's real-life exploits are of course the perfect inspiration for any
number of horror films ... however, this one is less of a shocker and more
of a softcore sex film, a movie that puts almost no emphasis on the
Countess' cruelties but focuses on lesbian sex ... and quite an amount of
it, too. So despite the film's title's emphasis on blood, expect very
little of the red stuff and quite a number of bared breasts - in fact I
think all of the actresses in this film at least lose their tops at one
time or another.
But does this make Blood Countess a bad film?
yes. Now let me stress, I have nothing against softcore erotica as such,
but this movie is so uninventive in finding excuses for showing boobs it's
almost embarrassing, so straight-forward in its mission to cram as much
nudity as possible into one film, it's almost an insult to the audience's
intelligence, and so devoid of even a trace of humour it's next to sad.
at least most of the girls look good naked, so it's not a total loss, but
on the other hand, that's hardly enough to save the film ...