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Caligola: La Storia mai Raccontata

Caligula: The Untold Story
Caligula 2 / Emperor Caligula: The Garden of Taboo

Italy 1982
produced by
Alexander Sussman (executive) for Cinema 80, Metaxa Corporation
directed by David Hills (= Joe D'Amato = Aristide Massaccesi)
starring David Brandon (as David Cain), Laura Gemser, Oliver Finch, Charles Borromel, Fabiola Toledo, Sasha D'arc, Alessandro Freyberger, Larry Dolgin, Gabriele Tinti, John Alin, Ulla Luna, Michele Soavi, Joan McCoy, Didi Franks, Giorgia Williams, Jessica Lopez, Patricia Queen, Donatella Down, Mark Shannon
written by Richard Franks (= George Eastman = Luigi Montefiori), David Hills (= Joe D'Amato = Aristide Massaccesi), cinematography by Fédérico Slonisco (= Joe D'Amato = Aristide Massaccesi)

Caligula

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Flix.com

Caligula (David Brandon), the new emperor of Rome, is a sick bastard: He likes to torture and kill even those close to him, he likes to fuck the wives of his friends, his own sisters and relatives, and even little kids, he likes to turn the Vestal Virgins into prostitutes to entertain the guests at his orgies, and every now and again, he likes to do a little rape as well. Then though he goes one step too far when he rapes and then kills Christian girl Livia (Fabiola Toledo), because Livia's best friend is Miriam (Laura Gemser), a Nubian priestess who will stop at nothing to get her revenge, she even goes so far as to sacrifice her own virginity and become a whore, just to get close to Caligula - and she succeeds too, because at one of his orgies she catches his eye, and soon they spend a night of sin together.

Then though, the unexpected happens: Miriam and Caligula actually fall in love, and Miriam even goes so far as to betray those who she's in league with and kill Caligula's would-be assassin with her own hands to save the emperor.

Caligula however is quite mad, and after weeks and weeks of being in love, his mind snaps and in a fit of rage, he brutally stabs Miriam to death for no reason at all - and now his underlings are really shocked and decide they have to do away with Caligula.

In the end, on a beach, all those serving under Caligula gather for an execution and confront him, and the man who actually shoots the emperor dead with an arrow is Ulmar (Sasha D'Arc), his own trusted bodyguard.

 


Flix.com

A film about Caligula, done by Joe D'Amato - well, this obviously is not some kind of a history lesson but rather a sleazefest made to cash in on Tinto Brass' notorious art/porn-blend Caligula from 1979. D'Amato however does away with the art and fills the story with scene after scene of gratuitous nudity and (in its uncut form) hardcore sex (Laura Gemser not performing any hardcore scenes in case you were wondering), a little bit of sensationalistic decadence (which of course is in a way true to historical facts) and some violence, plus a scene of a woman masturbating a horse. The outcome is your typical Joe D'Amato piece of sleaze, maybe technically on a higher level than some of his other films but not as entertaining and as funny (if you can laugh about things like this) as his best films, but entertaining enough if you know what you're in for ...

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!

 

 

 

On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD