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Captain America XXX

USA 2011
produced by
Jerry Cuban, Alex Cuban (executive), Tom Byron (supervising) for Extreme Comixxx
directed by Sinister X
starring Evan Stone, Tara Lynn Foxx, Sean Michaels, Juelz Ventura, Alex Knight, Jennifer White, Dane Cross, India Summer, Bill Bailey, Ashli Orion, Charley Chase, Jacky Joy, Lizzy Borden, Scott Lyons
written by Dan OhReally, based on the comicbook created by Joe Simon, Jack Kirby, published by Marvel Comics, visual effects by PliXar

Captain America, Nick Fury, Hitler (cameo)

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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After winning the war (World War II, if you must know), Captain America (Evan Stone) has been frozen into ice for 70 years. Now he is brought back by gouvernment agency SHIELD headed by Nick Fury (Sean Michaels), who pretty much immediately orders a couple of nurses to help thaw him again - if you catch my drift.

Oil magnat and turbo capitalist Dusty Reed (Alex Knight) meanwhile wants his revenge on Nick Fury for stealing his woman, so he has joined forces with Hydra, led by Captain America's arch enemy Red Skull (Bill Bailey), to achieve that aim. But through which means does the Red Skull try to achieve its own, evil goals this time around? Through political means of course, namely the Tea Party candidate for the presidential race Sarah Palin (India Summer) - who isn't above showing the Red Skull her gratitude sexually.

Because the Red Skull tries to get Sarah Palin into power via propaganda, SHIELD decides to launch some counter propaganda, with Captain America as their posterboy - but the Captain don't like it, and he's right, because behind all the campaigning, Hydra launches a full-scale war on SHIELD. To counteract this, Captain America and SHIELD field commander Sharon Carter (Tara Lynn Foxx) launch a couple of counterattacks on Hydra, but while they manage to foil a Hydra-plot to nuke Washington and kill Dusty Reed and the sexy Hydra field commander (Juelz Ventura), they fail to get their hands on the Skull himself, or at least Sarah Palin, and Sharon Carter dies a hero's death in the process.

Dane Cross plays Bruce Banner, but without ever turning into the Hulk, Banner's inclusion in this seems rather futile - but heck, at least he gets to fuck Jennifer White, that counts for something at least, right?

 

A film that shares the virtues and problems with so many other porn comicbook adaptations: It's lovingly made, shows care for detail, gets the comicbook-feel right, and is not nearly as blown out of proportion as your typcial big budget Hollywood comicbook movie of late - in other words, a film destined to be loved by fans of vintage comicbooks and low budget genre flicks.

But then there's the fucking: Now I'm totally not against explicite sex on film, don't get me wrong, but all of the sex scenes in this film go on for way too long to not kill whatever narrative buildup has led to it. It's pretty much the ratio that every 5 or so minutes of plot are followed by 20 minutes of shagging - and that somewhat kills the film.

Sure, you'll say this is porn, and fucking is porn's main focus - and you're right and wrong. Sure when you buy porn you expect people to fuck, but this is plot-based porn, and I think the story should just render a bit higher on the filmmakers' agenda - if one could get the plot/sex ratio up to one to one, we would have really good, really sleazy comicbook movies!

As for the sex scenes themselves: at least the performers are good-looking and seem to be really into their scenes (especially Tara Lynn Foxx and Jennifer White are worth an extra-mention here), so if you go into this to just see cosplay sex, you won't be disappointed.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
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a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
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tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
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Out now from
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On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD