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USA 2009
produced by
Geraldine Winters, Dan Sleboda for DGW Films, Escape Entertainment
directed by Geraldine Winters
starring Suzanne Lauren, Rocco George, Lena Hurt, Ebru Yonka, Billy Macarther, Rachel Blair, Chris Luperi, Amanda Bochko, Dan Sleboda, Chris Dimoulas, Dan Hogan, Bobby Max, Thomas Daniel, Theresa Galeani
written by Geraldine Winters

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Doctor Wethers (Suzanne Lauren) runs an asylum that specializes on people who suffer from fear of clowns, basically because her whole family was killed by Snuffles the Clown years ago. Nurse Clara (Lena Hurt) also suffers from fear of clowns, and she is assigned to watch over mysterious Patient X (Ebru Yonka), who has an imaginary clown friend who tells her to do crazy things. Four teenage stereotypes - the nerd (Chris Luperi), the bad boy/jock (Billy Macarther), the goth chick (Amanda Bochko) and the cheerleader (Rachel Blair) - are brought to the asylum from the juvenile penitentiary, and wouldn't you know it, they're scared of clowns as well. Too bad then that Snuffles the Clown has just been released from prison, and he decides to pay the doctor's asylum a visit. Of course, pretty much everybody is killed by Snuffles in one gruesome manner or another, but the nerdy teen ultimately manages to kill Snuffles.

Now it's all over, right?

Wrong, because Patient X has just killed the nurse and shows she can be just as crazy as Snufles, and now that his position has become vacant ...


I love the nonsensical title of this movie, but the actual film attached to the title is nothing but a mess: The whole thing is based on a plot that lacks narrative stringency and loses itself in a few too many subplots, carried by characters you can't get yourself to like let alone care about played by only moderately talented actors, and the directorial effort is risk- and atmosphere-free and rarely ventures outside of the very basic. Plus, the fear of clowns, prominently presented int he movie's title is never really made the subject of the film here - I mean if there's a serialkiller loose on the premises who just happens to wear a clownmask, are you really afraid of the mask, or the fact he's coming after you carrying deadly weapons?


review © by Mike Haberfelner


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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from




On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide


A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD