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Confessions of a Window Cleaner
UK 1974
produced by Greg Smith, Norman Cohen (executive), Michael Klinger (executive) for Columbia
directed by Val Guest
starring Robin Askwith, Anthony Booth, Sheila White, Dandy Nichols, Bill Maynard, Linda Hayden, John Le Mesurier, Joan Hickson, Katya Wyeth, Richard Wattis, Melissa Stribling, Anita Graham, Sam Kydd, Brian Hall, Christine Donna, Sue Longhurst, Olivia Munday, Judy Matheson, Elaine Baillie, Christopher Owen, Peter Dennis, Marianne Stone, Andee Cromarty, David Rose, Totti Truman Taylor, Frank Sieman, Anika Pavel, Hugo De Vernier, Bruce Wightman, Carole Augustine, Lionel Murton, Peter Fontaine, Jeannie Collings, Claire Russell, Jo Peters, Monika Ringwald, Porjai Nicholas, Derek Lord, Robert Longden, Jennifer Westbrook, Glenda Allen, Ava Cadell, Zoe Hendry, Petula Noble, Rosetta Tropea
screenplay by Christopher Wood, Val Guest, based on the novel by Christopher Wood (as Timothy Lea), music by Sam Sklair
Confessions ...
review by Mike Haberfelner
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Timothy's (Robin Askwith) brother in law Sidney (Anthony Booth) has
just hired him to help out on his window cleaning business, but afterr
only one day it becomes clear that Timothy lacks the finesses of the trade
- in less prosaic terms he's not terribly good at charming female
customers into keeping hiring them ... and even more vulgarly speaking,
that means shagging the female clientel. That might of course have to do
with the fact that Timothy's still innocent in the downstairs department.
Sidney is quick to fix that by taking Timothy to a stripper with benefits
(Christine Donna), and soon enough, Timothy has caught on and as a result
gets into all kinds of sexual situations with the customers, more often
with embarrassing endings for at least one involved. At the same time,
Timothy manages to fall in love with Elizabeth (Linda Hayden) - who just
happens to be a policewoman. Now she loves him back, but it turns out
getting her into bed is more problematic than one of the customers, and
that's not just because of her policeman father (John Le Mesurier) and
strict mother (Joan Hickson), but also because she wants to take it slow.
So eventually, rather by accident, Timothy asks Elizabeth to marry him -
which of course leads to the wanted result (finally getting to shag her),
but he also wants to stay true to his proposal. It's the wedding day,
and while Timothy and family - Sid, Sid's wife (Sheila White), mum (Dandy
Nichols) and dad (Bill Maynard) - are preparing to head for the location,
Timothy accidently lands in a movers van that takes him in the opposite
direction, and of course once he notices that he tries his utmost to make
it back - but arrives hours upon hours late, when all the guests have
already left. But when he wants to at least make up with Elizabeth, he
finds her in bed with Sid - which actually might not be the unhappiest of
endings ... Now of course, seen from today's perspective, this
first film in the Confessions-series starring Robin Askwith
sure must come across as horrible: Askwith's character really comes across
as a dinosaur, the whole concept of the film as sexist, and many of the
jokes are clearly in bad taste. One in fact really has to watch this one
through the glasses of nostalgia and judge it by the standards of its own
time. Sure this doesn't make it a masterpiece, and some of it still feels
like in bad taste, and one still can't denie a certain sexism - but this
was not made as a political statement but as a mindless, sexy romp, and a
film feeding on the relative sexual freedom of the 1970s, relying on Robin
Askwith's odd (and probably even slightly archaic by the time) charm to
hold things together. As I said, not a masterpiece, probably not even a
good movie in the traditional sense of the word, but an innocently naughty
fun trip down nostalgia lane if you're up for it.
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