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USA 1987
produced by
David DeCoteau, John Schouweiler, Linnea Quigley (executive) for Titan Productions/Empire International, Urban Classics
directed by David DeCoteau
starring Linnea Quigley, Ken Abraham, Michael Aranda, Richard L. Hawkins, Kim McKamy
written by David DeCoteau, Buford Hauser, music by Guy Moon, special effects by Next Generation Effects, Thom Floutz, Peter Carsillo, special mechanical effects by John Criswell

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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The far far future (meaning 1998): Civilisation was pretty much wiped out by World War III, and humankind is now reduced to small groups of nomads seeking food and shelter from the acid rain.

One such group - blonde Bianca (Linnea Quigley), her hunky boyfriend Butch (Ken Abraham), science nerd Jesse (Michael Aranda) (who of course wears glasses), Kate (Kim McKamy) and their leader Jake (Richard L.Hawkins) - finds the secret entrance to a science lab, which is a perfect cover from the rain and where there is enough food and water for them to last for weeks ... however, the former inhabitatns seem to have left in a hurry, and eventually our heroes even find a few severed heads - ouch. Still, they decide to put up camp here ... but what do you know, there is a monster - actually a being created in the lab that reproduces its own amino acid, whatever that might have to do with the plot - living in the air shafts who kills them one by one, and who isn't killed by the monster is killed by giant killer rats, who live int he lab as well.

In the end, our little group is reduced to Jake, who finally manages to shoot the monster with his raygun (of course he has a raygun, this is the future, remember) ... but in dieing, the monster gives birth to a baby monster which is just as lethal as its mother.

Ultimately though, Jake manages to strangle the baby with its own umbilical cord. Then he leaves.

The end ... but wait, the baby opens its eyes again ...


Typical 1980's B-sci-fi-horror, a cheapo and crudely made Alien rip-off with some ridiculous effects (especially the giant rats were a hoot) and a story that totally lacks excitement and suspense and amounts to nothing more than showing some gratuitious sex and gore - without even trying to be anything special.

So yes, it's a rather bad film, but if you like the cheap'n'cheesy charm of 1980's sci-fi-trash you will probably at least be entertained !

I love the title though ...


review © by Mike Haberfelner


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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from




On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide


A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD