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The Crucifier

USA 2005
produced by
Bill Zebub (executive)
directed by Bill Zebub
starring Rocco Martone, Kerri Taylor, Ryan Miller, Jennyphyre Ligieri, Freddie Dingo, Thomas Russo, Suzi Lorraine, Elena Kagan, Rachel DeGenaro, Heather Taylor, Rachel Plaster, Sica, Bill Zebub (voice)
written by Bill Zebub, music by Cophnia

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Rocco (Rocco Martone), his girlfriend Kerri (Kerri Taylor) and their friend Ryan (Ryan Miller) are having an LSD party, during which all of them wear masks at the behest of Rocco. Somehow the party goes horribly wrong then Ryan ends up dead, Kerri tied up in the basement, and Rocco starts to believe he's Jesus Christ. He has long conversations with Ryan, whom he believes to be the devil, before even realizing he's dead (the facial mask doesn't make it easy to tell you know), and he believes Kerri to be Mary Magdalene, and soon progresses to dictate her his new gospel. He also has an alarming collection of photos of crucified women, which somehow put Kerri into a panic - oh, and he's hearing voices, and might suffer from a severe case of schizophrenia.

Eventually, Kerri ends up dead, too. Rocco can't remember doing it, but doesn't care too much either, as he sees his mission greater than the life or death of one person. Oh yeah, and he has a new guest to his basement, an attractive blonde (Suzi Lorraine) dressed in a bikini tied to a cross. In a state of utter delusion, Rocco nails himself to the backside of her cross ...

It's only now that it's found out that Rocco, who has since died on the cross, is not actually the baddie of the piece, just a poor drugged soul with a schizophrenic disorder - which his landlord Fred (Freddie Dingo) has known to abuse in order to rape Rocco's girlfriend: The voices Rocco hears were all Fred's, the LSD party was Fred's idea, so were the masks, which he needed to get into Kerri's panties with her believing it's Rocco. Somehow though, things went wrong and Fred had to kill Ryan and Kerri, and he provided Rocco with the blonde to make him the perfect scapegoat. All the photos of the crucified girls were his also, Fred has made it his hobby to tie naked girls to makeshift crosses somewhere deep in the woods and let them die there - and in a twist of bitter irony, they might save him from the chair, in a plea deal, Fred offers to lead the police to his crucifixion victims in exchange for beking spared the death penalty ...


For the most part, this film makes only limited sense, narratively, and resembles more the trip of a schizophreniac - which it's actually supposed to be, too. Anyways, writer/director Bill Zebub doesn't really try too hard to tell his story, instead he creates a weird, trippy atmosphere by infusing the film with seemingly unrelated images of crucified girls, by messing up the chronological order of things, and by leaving out key scenes (like the murders themselves). This all is fascinating, even if after some times, it gets a bit repretitive and thus tiring.

The real fun thing about this film though is the twist ending that virtually comes out of nowhere, but makes sense as a perfectly twisted explanation of everything that has happened before.



review © by Mike Haberfelner


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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from




On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
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... and for the life of it,
you can't decide


A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD