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Daisy Derkins vs. The Bloodthirsty Beast of Barren Pines!

USA 2019
produced by
Mark Mackner, Frances Mackner, Andre Bennett, Eric K. Knoll for Monstros Madre
directed by Mark Mackner
starring Mary Sack, Dahlia DeSade, Gia Z. Taylor, J.D. Korejko, Julie Ann Hamolko, Shoshanna Hill, Doug Layne, Rob Dimension, Dave Ferrier, Lloyd Kaufman, Cedric Crouch, Mark Mackner, Eric K. Knoll, Ted Moehring, Matthias Lowjewski, Andrea Bateman, Meagan Rumberger, Alison DeLune Batten, Emily Rose Currier, Tweak A. Moffitt, Doug Perry
written by Mark Mackner, music by Cedric Crouch, songs by The Piss Shivers, The Barbarellatones, special effects makeup by Eric Welsch, Roxann Smith, Marah Carpenter

Daisy Derkins

review by
Mike Haberfelner

Available on DVD !

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Somewhere deep in the woods of nowhere, USA: A punk band's car breaks down and Mia (Dahlia DeSade) and Vex (J.D. Korejko) and the hitchhiker they've picked up, Daisy the monster slayer (Mary Sack), go (as in walk through enverending woods) looking for help while their bandmate Heck (Cedric Crouch) stays with the car - and it's not long before he's attacked and brutally dismembered by a dinosaur that's supposed to exist only in folklore. At the same time, Evelyn (Gia Z. Taylor), Scarlet (Julie Ann Hamolko) and Anna Maria (Shoshanna Hill) trying to make good their escape from a bank heist gone somewhat wrong - well, Evelyn and Scarlet got trigger happy and shot a few people, and now Anna Maria, the good girl of the group, is pissed. Of course, their car breaks down in the same woods, and while trying to get back to civilisation, the girls get into a fight, and Anna Maria gets away with the loot after knocking out the other two. Bounty hunter Wyngate Van Cleef (Lloyd Kaufman) is after the girls, instead runs into Daisy and company - and makes such a mess out of it that he's knocked out and tied to a tree. Anna Maria eventually catches up with Daisy and friends - which puts them all into a precarious situation, as not only are Anna Maria's associates after her, but also a trio of policemen (Doug Layne, Rob Dimension, Dave Ferrier), to mutant cannibals (Mark Mackner, Eric K. Knoll) ... and of course, there's also the dinosaur that needs to be dealt with. Now thank God Daisy knows a thing or two about fighting monsters, but is "a thing or two" actually enough?

 

Now ok, don't expect any greatness from this movie, it was done on a very low budget, which often shows, and on pretty much all technical levels. And yet, the film has plenty to love about it: Aparently, the people behind it not only loved what they were doing, they also very apparently love the genre they are operating in, and they just love to spin an entertaining, pulpy yarn in an anything-goes manner and a decidedly tongue-in-cheek approach to all things. As a result, we get something that might not be great in the traditional sense of the word - but wildly entertaining for sure.

 

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review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!

 

 

 

On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD